In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern times, a vast majority of
children
around the world are engaged in paid Use synonyms
work
. Some people argue that Use synonyms
this
can be detrimental to Linking Words
children
, Use synonyms
while
others see it as a crucial step in gaining Linking Words
work
experience for their future development. I believe that starting Use synonyms
work
at a very young age can assist kids in developing their understanding of finances, but it may Use synonyms
also
negatively impact their childhood.
On the positive side, working for a salary can help teenagers learn to manage money responsibly. When Linking Words
children
earn their first paycheck, they are more likely to use their earnings wisely, realizing the value of their hard Use synonyms
work
. Research indicates that individuals who start working early tend to make better financial decisions compared to those who have not had paid employment. Use synonyms
For instance
, in the United States, 65% of teenagers are financially independent from their parents, demonstrating an appreciation for the importance of money.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, there is a risk that some Linking Words
children
may become overly absorbed in duties, missing out on the joys of time when they are still kids and meaningful experiences with friends and family. Use synonyms
For instance
, in the movie "Hi Lora," the character Lora works from the age of 5 until her death. Linking Words
Due to
her focus on earning money at a young age, her parents failed to see her as a child, resulting in a disrupted childhood.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
having a paid job as a child can help them develop skills like financial literacy, it can Linking Words
also
rob them of a normal childhood experience by forcing them to mature prematurely. It is recommended to provide almost all teenagers with any kind of position where they can get valuable skills.Linking Words
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Example Relevance
While discussing both viewpoints and providing your opinion, ensure that examples provided are realistic and relatable to a wider audience. The use of a fictional example ('Hi Lora') might not be as impactful or relevant as real-world evidence.
Balance in Discussion
Consider balancing the coverage of both views before stating your opinion. Make sure each viewpoint is explored with equal depth and detail for a comprehensive discussion.
Conclusion Clarity
In the conclusion, try to clearly reiterate your stance while summarizing the main points of each view. This helps strengthen the final impression of your essay.
Structure
Good job on providing a logical structure to your essay, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Cohesion
You have effectively used a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across the essay, making your argument easy to follow.
Balanced Perspective
Your essay offers a nuanced perspective by recognizing the merits and drawbacks of children engaging in paid work, reflecting an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.