Some people think that all entertainment TV programme should educate people about the importance of social issue. To what extent do your agree or disagree.
Some
people
believe that all TV
stations can only be allowed to display TV
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
for educating
Change preposition
to educate
people
about how essential to be aware of social issue
. Even though to some Fix the agreement mistake
issues
extend
Replace the word
extent
that is
needed action to increase people
's awareness about the issue. But in my opinion, I disagree to
that notion for two main reasons. Change preposition
with
This
essay will give elaboration of disagrement
to that opinion.
Normally, most Correct your spelling
disagreement
people
tend to find entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
in
Change preposition
on
TV
that makes them entertained, enjoy, and relaxed after long-hours activities from
Change preposition
at
workplace
. Display only social Add an article
the workplace
program
in all Fix the agreement mistake
programs
entertainments
Change the noun form
entertainment
TV
programme
would only limit and restrict what Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
people
should watch in
Change preposition
on
TV
, and that could make people
get annoyed. Although
increasing people
's awarness
of social Correct your spelling
awareness
issue
is essential, Fix the agreement mistake
issues
but
there must be some other ways to choose for educating Correct word choice
apply
people
. Therefore
, people
should be given a choice whether they are willing to watch social program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
in
Change preposition
on
TV
, or they more
prefer to be entertained by watching Correct quantifier usage
apply
other
Change the wording
another programme
other programmes
programme
rather than social campaign
in mass media.
If Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
main
purpose is to educate more Change the article
the main
people
to recognize of
social Change preposition
apply
problem
in their surroundings, both national and local authorities should execute it effectively rather than throwing out social campaigns into all Fix the agreement mistake
problems
TV
programme
. Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
For example
, the government can select influenced figures in each region to be given a specific mission such
bringing
more Verb problem
as making
people
to
aware Change preposition
apply
about
their environment. They are obliged to Change preposition
of
encourge
folks in each area Correct your spelling
encourage
that
they live to be more actively participating in social activities.
In conclusion, Correct word choice
where
people
should be given an
option to choose what they prefer to watch as a form of Change the article
the
entertainments
. If the core focus is to educate Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
people
, the government should find some other ways to choose such
as appoint
influenced Wrong verb form
appointing
figure
to Fix the agreement mistake
figures
encourge
folks to be more aware of their environment.Correct your spelling
encourage
Submitted by pedrothedawn on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be better integrated. Ensure they clearly reflect your main arguments and summarise them effectively in the conclusion.
logical structure
Work on creating a stronger logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly and making sure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Use cohesive devices to strengthen the relationship between your points.
supported main points
The main points are supported, but they would benefit from more developed reasoning and a wider range of supporting details and examples to strengthen your argument.
complete response
While the response is complete, try to address the task more fully by balancing the discussion of both views before arriving at your conclusion. This can show a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant but lack full clarity and development; aim for more depth and nuance in your explanations. This will also make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
relevant specific examples
You've included some examples to support your ideas, yet they are quite general. Try to use more specific and varied examples relevant to the prompt to enhance the persuasive quality of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.