IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Be sure to use your own words. Do not use memorized examples.

#people #internet #information #access #support
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While
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 the
Internet
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 is a huge
information
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 resource, in order to support the view that it can cause problems, it is necessary to consider various aspects of how to access today's
information
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. First of all, the huge amount of
information
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 available on the
Internet
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 may lead to
information
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 overload. The huge amount of available data is overwhelming, and it can be difficult for individuals to filter and find relevant and accurate
information
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.
This
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 can lead to confusion and make decisions difficult or impossible
due to
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 the abundance of choices and
information
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.
Secondly
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, the
Internet
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 has
also
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 led to the rapid spread of misinformation. The ease of
information
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 being published online makes it increasingly difficult to distinguish between reliable and unreliable sources.
This
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 spread of false and misleading
information
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 can seriously affect public opinion, health choices, and political decisions.
For example
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, the spread of false health practices and conspiracy theories can lead to dangerous
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 in the real world. Another problem is that search engines may not be able to identify users who have previously "liked" or agreed to
using
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use
show examples
 algorithms that display content similar to what users liked or agreed to in the past.
This
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 can strengthen your beliefs, create
information
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 that filters opposing views, and limit exposure to diverse perspectives.
In addition
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, the ease of access to
information
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 on the
Internet
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 may
also
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 reduce critical thinking and research skills. Because the answer is readily available, people tend to accept the first answer they find without doubting its validity or searching for a source.
This
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 may hinder the development of thinking skills that are essential for the evaluation and interpretation of
information
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. In conclusion, the
Internet
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 is a unique resource for accessing
information
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, but the challenges presented in terms of
information
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 overload, misinformation, and reduced critical thinking skills highlight the complexity and potential problems associated with its use. I'm doing it.
Submitted by chisae112 on

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task achievement
While your essay provides a thorough exploration of the issues that can arise due to the vast amount of information on the Internet, it falls short in providing concrete examples to support your arguments. It is important to enrich your essay with specific, real-life instances or data to illustrate your points and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows an understanding of how to structure an argument, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas between paragraphs can be further enhanced by employing a stronger variety of cohesive devices and transition words to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The coherence of your essay is satisfactory as you present your arguments in a logical order. Yet, there is an opportunity to improve cohesion by creating stronger links between your main points and the central argument of the essay. This can be achieved by reiterating your thesis statement in varied forms throughout the essay to maintain a strong focus on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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