104.In some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try har enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
It is argued that by working hard,
people
can get what want. The main benefits of this
are individuals will continuously make an effort and people
will have higher self-esteem, however
, the key drawbacks are too much emphasis on hard work
and unable to face failures.
Firstly
, individuals will be more confident in themselves. If people
have succeeded in one of their accomplishments after working hard, they will be sure that the message they were told is correct, and they will be confident to repeat success. Furthermore
, people
will be willing to make more effort. This
is because they know that by working hard they can reach everything, so they will never give up until they achieve it. For example
, many businessmen succeed because they are sure that by hard work
they will triumph, even if they fail they will still try until they get it.
The main disadvantage of this
message is that some people
will start doubting themselves. If they do not get what they want even by working hard, they will think that they are not good at anything. Moreover
, people
will put too much emphasis on hard work
. There are other factors that can affect the achievement, such
as the environment in which someone grows up, the family and the place. For instance
, some Chinese people
who live in the mountains, think that they will have a better life if they study hard, but the reality is, that when they reach a certain age, they will be forced by their parents to get married and have babies.
In conclusion, the benefits of telling children that they can get everything by trying hard is that they will gain confidence and will continuously try, while
the disadvantages are that people
give too much importance to hard work
and are not able to face their non-fulfilment.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs logically lead from one to the next, maintaining a clear and connected progression of ideas throughout the essay. Avoid abrupt transitions or unrelated ideas between paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion. These should be distinct paragraphs that set up the main idea and summarize your argument coherently, respectively.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, relevant, and detailed examples or explanations. Avoid overly general statements that do not effectively back up your arguments.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task and ensure that your essay provides a balanced argument, which includes discussing both advantages and disadvantages if requested. Aim for a complete response.
task achievement
Take time to develop your ideas fully. Present coherent, comprehensive points that show complex thinking and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Supplement your arguments with examples that are specific, directly relevant, and add depth to your points. These examples should be illustrative of the concept you are discussing and drawn from a variety of sources where possible.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...