104.In some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try har enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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It is argued that by working hard,

people

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can get what want. The main benefits of

this

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are individuals will continuously make an effort and

people

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will have higher self-esteem,

however

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, the key drawbacks are too much emphasis on hard

work

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and unable to face failures.

Firstly

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, individuals will be more confident in themselves. If

people

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have succeeded in one of their accomplishments after working hard, they will be sure that the message they were told is correct, and they will be confident to repeat success.

Furthermore

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people

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will be willing to make more effort.

This

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is because they know that by working hard they can reach everything, so they will never give up until they achieve it.

For example

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, many businessmen succeed because they are sure that by hard

work

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they will triumph, even if they fail they will still try until they get it. The main disadvantage of

this

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message is that some

people

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will start doubting themselves. If they do not get what they want even by working hard, they will think that they are not good at anything.

Moreover

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people

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will put too much emphasis on hard

work

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. There are other factors that can affect the achievement,

such

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as the environment in which someone grows up, the family and the place.

For instance

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, some Chinese

people

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who live in the mountains, think that they will have a better life if they study hard, but the reality is, that when they reach a certain age, they will be forced by their parents to get married and have babies. In conclusion, the benefits of telling children that they can get everything by trying hard is that they will gain confidence and will continuously try,

while

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the disadvantages are that

people

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give too much importance to hard

work

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and are not able to face their non-fulfilment.

elenazheng1211Thu Nov 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that all paragraphs logically lead from one to the next, maintaining a clear and connected progression of ideas throughout the essay. Avoid abrupt transitions or unrelated ideas between paragraphs for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

Include both an introduction and a conclusion. These should be distinct paragraphs that set up the main idea and summarize your argument coherently, respectively.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with clear, relevant, and detailed examples or explanations. Avoid overly general statements that do not effectively back up your arguments.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task and ensure that your essay provides a balanced argument, which includes discussing both advantages and disadvantages if requested. Aim for a complete response.

task achievement

Take time to develop your ideas fully. Present coherent, comprehensive points that show complex thinking and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Supplement your arguments with examples that are specific, directly relevant, and add depth to your points. These examples should be illustrative of the concept you are discussing and drawn from a variety of sources where possible.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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104.In some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try har enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

‏For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extend do you agree?

More and more people are using the internet to do their tasks rather than doing in person. Does the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantege?

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion.

Some people believe that television programmes are of no real value for children. How far do you agree or disagree?