The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For every country improvement in any area is a great way to become a leader amongst others,
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however
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however,
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some areas could be seen as more important for the prosperity of the land.
Space
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programmes are leaders in the technology world for ground-breaking discoveries and the countries exceeding them are sure to be seen as powerful.
However
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, discoveries in outer
space
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are exciting,
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money
Correct word choice
and money
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could be spent for improvement in daylife services
such
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as
school
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schools
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or hospitals. I believe there are several ways an individual could look at
this
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problem. As a person interested in technology,
space
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programmes are
news
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the news
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I look forward to. To explore the possibility of life beyond the Ozone layer does not require only an immense amount of scientists, but
money
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as well.
However
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, the
money
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would not be spent inconsiderably, when the
space
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programmes in question could help humanity to move forward in resources. The possibility of a new home, when it is known how fast our Earth is dying
due to
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greedy companies and obnoxious politicians, is an offer no one could pass on.
Although
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the discoveries in
space
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are sure to sound promising, they are very unpredictable, meaning that even
a
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the
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smallest mistake could end a year-long project.
That is
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why I would rather prioritize giving
money
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to public hospitals and schools, in which new generations are being taken care of. If the quality of education increased, the future of our current home, Earth, would be brighter as well, where people would be taught the consequences of their unsustainable actions. By supporting hospitals, the mortality rate would be significantly lower, especially in third-world countries. They would not have to worry about bringing up birth rates or the lack of
work force
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workforce
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. The future of humanity’s home is dependent on the present. What choices we make today will influence how tomorrow will look like. By focusing on people’s needs, the governments will be sure to acquire intelligent, healthy, brave and patriotic people, who will not only think about themselves
,
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apply
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but
also
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about others.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between ideas to help the reader follow your arguments.
task achievement
You show a good understanding of the topic and present a clear opinion.
task achievement
Your essay expresses a personal interest in technology and space programs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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