108.Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

It is argued that an increasing number of
individuals
choose to
work
for themselves, rather than
work
for other companies.
This
essay would argue that the main reason for
this
is that
people
feel more free when they are self-employed,
while
the main drawbacks are high risk and stress. On the one hand,
people
who have their own businesses have more liberty.
This
is because when
individuals
work
for others, they need to follow rules. But if they are self-employed, they do not need to listen to what others ask them to do,
instead
, they are the ones who tell others what they need to do.
Also
,
people
are more free because they can
work
from where they want and when they want.
For example
, normally freelancers of big companies do not go to
work
every day, only when there is something urgent or to ensure that everything is in order,
while
the other time, they can do other activities.
On the other hand
, self-employed
people
are more exhausted. The high competition in the market, makes
people
worry about their business since they are not sure if it will succeed or not,
also
, they need to look for solutions if there are any problems.
Furthermore
becoming a freelancer is very risky.
This
is because
individuals
need to invest a large amount of money to create their businesses.
People
can go bankrupt if the company does not
work
well, and they lose everything they invested.
For instance
, many
people
who had had a successful business, fell into bankruptcy from one day to another, losing everything they had and having a large amount of debts that they needed to pay. In conclusion,
individuals
prefer to be freelancers because they are freer,
although
there are drawbacks
such
as high-risk rates and
people
being more exhausted.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
A more coherent logical structure could include clearer topic sentences that create a stronger framework for the paragraphs, allowing the reader to follow the argument with greater ease. Additionally, strive for smoother transitions between ideas within paragraphs as well as in the overall essay.
Task Achievement
Regarding task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the prompt fully. Provide a more balanced discussion of the reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages, ensuring that examples given are relevant and fully explained in the context of the argument. Aim to develop the main ideas further with more detailed explanation or analysis for greater clarity.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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