112.In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

It is argued that
although
there are agricultural advances, an increasing number of
individuals
still suffering from hunger. The main reason for
this
is an increase in population and some
people
are unable to afford products, and the most viable solution is to encourage
people
not to
waste
. Every year there are more and more
people
in the world. So, more
people
need to be fed, and since most of the crops only can be produced in a specific season, the demand exceeds the supply,
then
, there is still a shortage of
food
produced. Another reason is that the prices of the products are increasing significantly.
This
is because because of the economic situation of the nations.
This
causes that family with low incomes to be unable to afford basic products.
For example
, from 2021 to 2022, prices of
food
in Spain increased by approximately 31%, but the annual earnings of the citizens didn't increase,
instead
, some sectors' salaries decreased. To tackle
this
problem, government and different
people
should encourage others not to
waste
.
This
is because some
individuals
do not realize what throwing
food
away can cause. So, telling
people
about the consequences, how many lives they could save by not wasting, and the large number of
people
who do not have
food
to eat.
this
can make
people
reduce the excessive purchase of
food
.
For instance
, in some European countries, there are campaigns, which tell
people
about how many
individuals
do not have anything to eat and how to help them,
this
resulted in a reduction of
food
waste
by 22% and an increasing amount of
food
donations in charities. In conclusion, the reason why there are still a large number of
people
suffering from hunger is that there are some
individuals
who do not have money to afford
food
and with the increasing world population, the best solution is to encourage
people
to not
waste
food
.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, making it difficult to understand the flow of ideas. To improve, consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively by introducing each with a clear topic sentence and following it with supporting sentences that develop the main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
A discernible introduction and conclusion are present, but they do not sufficiently introduce the main points or summarize the response. Aim to make your introduction outline the key points of discussion and the conclusion to restate and reflect on those arguments succinctly and effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
The main points of your argument are somewhat supported, but the development of ideas could be strengthened with more varied, detailed examples and deeper analysis. Use specific, real-world examples to illustrate your points and provide more thorough explanations to enhance the support for your arguments.
Task Achievement
You have provided a response to the task, yet some aspects are not fully developed. To achieve a higher score, ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed comprehensively with more exploration of the causes and a wider range of possible solutions.
Task Achievement
While there are clear and comprehensive ideas within the essay, sometimes the connection between them and the overall clarity suffer. Work on articulating your ideas more effectively by providing clearer reasoning and ensuring each paragraph has a singular focus that ties back to the question.
Task Achievement
The essay contains examples, but they could be more specific and relevant to the arguments. Try to include clear examples from credible sources to improve the quality of your argument and demonstrate a closer link to the question.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: