114.At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

It is argued that nowadays there are more young adults than elderly

people

in some nations.

This

essay will argue that

although

there will be growth in the country's economy, more

people

will be unemployed, which means that the advantages do not outweigh the drawbacks. The main advantage of

this

situation is that there will be economic growth.

This

is because young

people

are more productive, so they can do things quicker and more effectively.

Also

, because of the continuous change in trends and technology, young

people

are able to adapt better, since they have grown up surrounded by technology, having more original ideas, for the companies.

For example

, many video games and updates on computers and phones are done by young

people

, since they know what

people

are looking for.

However

, I believe that

people

of all ages contribute to economic growth. The key drawback is that it causes an increase in the unemployment rate. The reason for

this

is that the number of

people

looking for a job increases, but the number of job offers might not increase, causing more competition in the market.

Also

, because there are more

people

looking for jobs, companies will reduce the salary offered, so they can decrease their expenses, since there will be

people

who are willing to work even with a low salary.

This

means there will be more

people

without work and more

people

suffering from hunger.

For instance

, in China, salaries are very low, because there is high competition,

this

causes many families to have difficulties, as they do not have enough money to maintain their family. In my opinion, I think that there are too many

people

suffering from hunger and poverty, which can cost their lives. In conclusion,

although

the economy of a country can get better because of the increasing number of young individuals, the unemployment rate

also

increases, so the benefits do not outnumber the drawbacks.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Thu Nov 23 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that you present a clear introduction with a direct answer to the question at hand, stating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.

task achievement

Develop your arguments by expanding on the points made, and provide more detailed examples to support your position.

coherence cohesion

Work on the organization of ideas in paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and use cohesive devices to logically connect ideas.

coherence cohesion

Include a conclusion that summarizes the main points made in the essay and states a clear opinion that addresses the essay prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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114.At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others believe that zoos are beneficial for the conservation of endangered species. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by other in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweighed the advantages?