IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages and disadvantages of using technology

In today’s rapidly evolving world,
technology
Use synonyms
 is developing at a fast pace. The advancement of
technology
Use synonyms
 has transformed how
children
Use synonyms
 devote their leisure time.
This
Linking Words
 situation has certain pros and cons.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explicate the advantages and disadvantages of the consumption of
technology
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the reason why
technology
Use synonyms
 is useful as it helps
children
Use synonyms
 to broaden their horizons of knowledge.
In other words
Linking Words
, It is not only to pass the time but
also
Linking Words
 assist
children
Use synonyms
 to learn new things. If students consume internet for the educational purposes
then
Linking Words
 it can help them to be educated.
For example
Linking Words
, these days, a large number of students take free online lectures on the video streaming platform YouTube where they can access plenty amount of sources to become experts in academics.
However
Linking Words
, the excessive use of
technology
Use synonyms
 can bring major challenges for the child. It is an undeniable fact that
technology
Use synonyms
 is very beneficial for
children
Use synonyms
 yet it has drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as it can create harmful effects on
children
Use synonyms
’s health. If
children
Use synonyms
 use digital gadgets for relaxation, there are chances of becoming less physically active as
children
Use synonyms
 tend to play games on mobile phones or laptops
as a result
Linking Words
, they avoid indulging in outdoor activities. Not only
this
Linking Words
 but
children
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 suffer from poor eyesight as they stick to digital screens.
For instance
Linking Words
,
According to
Linking Words
 the latest survey by WHO,
Due to
Linking Words
 the extravagant use of smart devices, Obesity among teenagers has been rapidly increasing. In conclusion,
technology
Use synonyms
 is quite beneficial for the growth of
children
Use synonyms
. Still, it has significant problems when
children
Use synonyms
 utilize it unlimited. So for that it should be used in appropriate amounts with the correct method.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Enhance the variety of your sentence structures to improve overall writing quality. Incorporate more complex sentences for better fluency.
task achievement
Ensure to back up assertions with more varied examples and explanations to provide a clearer picture of points made.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines the essay's structure and purpose, setting a clear expectation for the reader.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the use of online lectures on platforms like YouTube, help illustrate your points well.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: