IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days people in some countries are living in a “throwaway” society which means people use things in a short time then throw them away. What are its causes and what impacts can it have?

#people #countries #“throwaway” #society #time #impacts
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it is true that with the invention of new
products
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products,
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 most
people
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 often discard their old items by replacing
with
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them with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the
the
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apply
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reason
of
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for
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this
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 development
such
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 as globalization and
Correct article usage
the wastage
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wastage
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waste
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 of money. It
also
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provide
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provides
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 the impacts it has on us
to begin
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 with, with globalization there many
variety
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varieties
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 of things that are easily available to us
firstly
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, it become
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 easier for
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an individual
the individual
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individual
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individuals
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 to get
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the thing
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 through many online stores
withiout
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without
 even travelling
socondly
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secondly
, with high income than in the past , most
people
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 especially
youngster
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youngsters
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 spend
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of money buying new things that
shows
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show
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 their wealth and product
infront
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in front
 of their friends and
collegues
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colleagues
for instance
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, apple which has
variety
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a variety
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 of version
produce
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produces
show examples
 every year, try to grab the attention of their user through live stream media which makes
people
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 feel that their old version is not as advance as their new series.
finally
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, there
has
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have
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 been numerous
compaign
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campaign
campaigns
 by
seller
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the seller
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 which
compell
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compel
compelled
compels
people
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 to purchase their products
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and therefor
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therefor
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therefore
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, makes
people
Use synonyms
 weak financially as they
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do not
donot
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do not
 have any saving left for their future
furthermore
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, the major impacts that
makes
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make
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 the environment vulnerable by affecting
air
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the air
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 land and water human produce
alot
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a lot
 of waste
that is
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 hard for the worker to
despose
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dispose
despise
it
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apply
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off
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of
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. take an example of drain blockage, when water that
contain
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contains
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 waste
it
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apply
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block the path which
make
Verb problem
causes
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blockage
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a blockage
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 and
create
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creates
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 dirt around it
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apply
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thus
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,
make
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thus creating
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 pollution. another reason has its
affect
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effect
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 on
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the country
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country
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country's
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 economy,
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instead
instaed
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instead
 of spending on new items, one should invest in different
sector
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sectors
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 and provide aid for local
people
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hence
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,
government
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the government
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 should take
a
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apply
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strict action and provide
proper
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the proper
a proper
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 balance
of
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in
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environment
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the environment
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to conclude
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, with the growing number of new
item
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items
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, the old
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
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 are discarded by
people
Use synonyms
hoewever
Correct your spelling
however
, the demand and high wages of
people
Use synonyms
 often tend to buy more rather than saving. the government should give
utter most
Correct your spelling
uttermost
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 attention and provide awareness to save the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economy
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part should serve its purpose - introducing the topic, discussing it, and summing up your points.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay needs significant improvement. The ideas should be organized in a logical order, and paragraphs should be clearly divided to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Main points need to be supported with clear explanations and relevant examples. Use specific evidence to back up your argument, and make sure these examples are directly linked to the main point of the paragraph.
task achievement
You need to fully address all parts of the task. Ensure a complete response to the question by developing each point thoroughly.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay lack clarity and are not comprehensive. Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and in more detail.
task achievement
Provide clear and relevant examples to support your ideas. The examples given were not specific and did not help clarify your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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