IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science at university. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society?

#countries #students #study #science #university #effects #society
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In numerous countries, there is a noticeable trend of a
shortage
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 of
students
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 selecting
science
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 as their field of study at the university level.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons that may have provoked
this
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 issue and what should have been done about these situations. One of the main causes of the scarcity of
students
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 who do not study
science
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 at university is the difficulty of disciplines and it is extremely time-consuming
,
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apply
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a long-term study. With the expansion of many new modern and creative studies
such
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 as marketing, blogging or internet-related studies, natural or humanitarian
science
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 is less interesting and left behind.
Moreover
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, in recent years, employment opportunities in
science
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 have been abundant and quite competitive.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the job search services, people who try to find jobs in humanitarian
science
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 are widespread,
therefore
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 it leads to a rigid rivalry between competitors. The first consequence is that the
shortage
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 of
students
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 in
science
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 provokes the scarcity of experts in a particular field. Some vital domains
such
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 as engineering or physics may remain and suffer from a lack of diligent specialists ,
hence
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 it may have a negative impact on society.
Secondly
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, the dominance of widespread jobs in
science
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 results in unemployment because of many people with the same degree,
therefore
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 people will not be able to find a proper job. In turn, it leads to low salaries and rewards. In conclusion, the causes of a
shortage
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 of
students
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 selecting
science
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is
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are
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 the complexity of studying
science
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 and the diversity of
science
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 jobs. These trends can lead to a
shortage
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 of professionals in a certain
science
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 field in the future and unemployment.
Submitted by burtebaeva02 on

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task response
To improve task response, ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the essay question. The introduction should clearly set up the essay's topic and state what will be discussed. Focus on explaining the causes and effects more explicitly. Providing more specific and varied examples could make your argument more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. While the essay is structured well, using a wider range of linking phrases can help improve the coherence. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the supporting sentences directly relate to that idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reluctance
  • perceived difficulty
  • rigorous assessment
  • real-world application
  • job prospects
  • shortage
  • scientific research
  • technological advancements
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • workforce imbalance
  • environmental challenges
  • public health crises
  • infrastructure development
  • scholarships
  • grants
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