You recently booked a part-time course at a college. you now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter - say which part-time course you booked - explain why you need to cancel your booking - ask about booking a different course

#course #college #administrator

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to lodge a formal request to cancel my newly-booked course. I took the modern history program conducted by Professor Snape two weeks ago. Everything went fine, but recently, I have

finally

managed to find a job in a local store. Unfortunately, my current bursary is pretty low, and I have to work to make ends meet. I had tried to talk with my supervisor in the store before writing to you, but he said it is almost impossible to reschedule my shifts in the first six months. I found a suitable program for my diploma as a replacement for the modern history one, and I would like to ask you about booking a new course. The Сhinese history lectures start two hours earlier, and I will be able to visit them without passing. Thank you so much for your attention and participation. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Adam Smith Student ID number: 97468736

Submitted by 8453525 on Fri Nov 24 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your letter has a strong opening and clear purpose from the beginning. While your letter mentions the necessity of cancellation due to employment, this could have been established more clearly in the first paragraph as the primary reason for writing.

coherence and cohesion

Consider improving the structure of the paragraphs to create a seamless flow from one idea to the next. Each paragraph should build upon the previous one, guiding the reader through your request, explanation, and subsequent question regarding a new course. This will improve the logical presentation of your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

In formal correspondence, make sure each paragraph contains a single idea or request. Efficiently separate thoughts for clarity. The paragraph about seeking a new course could be expanded to clearly articulate this as a focused point within the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

164 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Part-time course
Cancellation
Booking
Administrator
Financial situation
Work commitments
Health issues
Inconvenience
Transfer
Subject area
Schedule
Format
Cancellation policy
Refund process
Assistance
Understanding

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You recently booked a part-time course at a college. you now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter - say which part-time course you booked - explain why you need to cancel your booking - ask about booking a different course

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a child having a large number of toys?

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks . this has isolated us physically making us social awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give you opinion.