IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

A knowledge of maths isn’t important for many job’s nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Maths is an important subject and is taught to everyone from their schools to make life easier. There is an ongoing argument over whether the knowledge of mathematics is crucial for many employments in recent days.
However
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, I think being good at math is necessary regardless of the job because it helps us deal with many day-to-day tasks both personally and professionally.
This
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 essay disagrees with the statement and will explain the reasons for it.
To begin
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 with, Mathematics always helps us with many basic tasks
such
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 as bills, understanding finances, grocery, shopping and much more. Our lives entirely revolve around it in one or the other way.
This
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 is the main reason why people are being taught
this
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 subject from
such
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 a small age so that they can get a good grip on it.
Similarly
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, in our work lives, to understand the flow of our income, basic knowledge of math is required. Because, it helps us to think and decide about monthly savings, expenses, tax deductions and
last
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 but not least, credit card statements and equated monthly instalments since these consume a huge part of any job holder's salary.
Therefore
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, to regulate the money flow from our pockets, it is important to get a good hold of math.
On the other hand
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, there are a lot of employees who try to handle work and personal life without knowing any basic numerical will lead to accumulated liabilities and
hence
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, by an early age they become victims of loans and debts.
This
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also
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 leads to a decline in mental health conditions and stability in their lives. It is crucial for everyone to not fall prey to
such
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 adversities. To recapitulate, even though it is said that knowledge of mathematics is not necessary for many occupations, I strongly advocate that people must have a basic understanding of maths to regulate their expenses and liabilities and live peacefully without any problems.

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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear position throughout, which is good for the task response criteria. However, to improve your score, you need to fully address all parts of the task. Make sure that your argument addresses the statement more directly and explores both sides of the argument. Support your claims with specific examples instead of general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a discernible structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is good for coherence and cohesion. However, the logical sequencing of information can be improved. Use a variety of cohesive devices to help articulate the relationship between ideas more clearly. Moreover, you should ensure your paragraphs have clear central topics that are expanded upon with specific details and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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