In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh disadvantages?

#cities #parks #spaces #gardens #residents #food #vegetables

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Nowadays in some huge towns, special parks and green spaces for society are transformed into fields, where local citizens can produce organic

products

Use synonyms

for personal purposes. There are many benefits,

such

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as improving the income of individuals and

also

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it provides necessary

products

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for markets and supermarkets.

However

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, these pros can not outweigh the cons, which show declines in the sphere of entertainment for local people and massive amounts of energy and

water

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. On the one hand, there are many advantages. First of all,

this

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kind of activity creates many working places for employees, and

as a consequence

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this

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provides them with money, which will be very beneficial for their budget.

Secondly

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this

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may give many varieties of

products

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for members of the community. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

organic

products

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which were grown in these fields could be added to the grocery markets, there may be a huge demand for them.

Also

Linking Words

this

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may give people more choices, when selecting vegetables and fruits. Referring to the information which was mentioned before, there are many positive sides to creating green zones in

areas

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for farming.

On the other hand

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this

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kind of activity will absolutely reduce the

areas

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for entertaining and

also

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it will consume electricity and

water

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. Without a doubt, heads of authority will give these regions for gardening, without replacing them. And

this

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will lead to the result, that there will not be places for humans’ chilling.

Moreover

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, these farms will consume a lot of electrical power and

water

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in the form of liquid.

In addition

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, these kinds of facilities for fields may cause many problems, related to the

water

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and energy supplements in urban

areas

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For example

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, in my home town there are issues, which connect to the

water

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and the cause of these troubles are many farms, which are located near my home. In light of the above, delving into the previous paragraphs, I think that transforming parks into working

areas

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for producing fresh food is more harmful to society, rather than having positive effects.

Submitted by zavkidm on Tue Jan 02 2024

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task achievement

Maximize the effectiveness of your introduction by directly responding to the question and stating whether you believe the benefits do or do not outweigh the disadvantages. Your essay should present this clearly from the beginning.

coherence cohesion

Demonstrate clear coherence by organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a single main idea or aspect of the topic. Ensure that there is a logical flow to the sequence in which you present your arguments.

task achievement

Support each of your main points with specific examples. Your essay currently lacks detail and tangible evidence to bolster the arguments made. These examples help the reader understand and believe your points.

coherence cohesion

Aim to vary your sentence structure to demonstrate a range of grammatical forms and to enhance the readability of your writing. This variation helps sustain the reader's interest and showcases your command of the language.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Community engagement
Public health
Physical activity
Educational opportunities
Sustainability
Urban greening
Heat island effect
Air quality
Biodiversity
Recreational activities
Maintenance challenges
Allocation of responsibilities
Social inequality
Garden plots
Fairness concerns

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In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

government should spend more money on recreation rather than education.do you agree or disagree

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of the possible solutions?