In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh disadvantages?

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Nowadays in some huge towns, special parks and green spaces for society are transformed into fields, where local citizens can produce organic
products
for personal purposes. There are many benefits,
such
as improving the income of individuals and
also
it provides necessary
products
for markets and supermarkets.
However
, these pros can not outweigh the cons, which show declines in the sphere of entertainment for local people and massive amounts of energy and
water
. On the one hand, there are many advantages. First of all,
this
kind of activity creates many working places for employees, and
as a consequence
,
this
provides them with money, which will be very beneficial for their budget.
Secondly
,
this
may give many varieties of
products
for members of the community. Because
,
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organic
products
which were grown in these fields could be added to the grocery markets, there may be a huge demand for them.
Also
,
this
may give people more choices, when selecting vegetables and fruits. Referring to the information which was mentioned before, there are many positive sides to creating green zones in
areas
for farming.
On the other hand
,
this
kind of activity will absolutely reduce the
areas
for entertaining and
also
it will consume electricity and
water
. Without a doubt, heads of authority will give these regions for gardening, without replacing them. And
this
will lead to the result, that there will not be places for humans’ chilling.
Moreover
, these farms will consume a lot of electrical power and
water
in the form of liquid.
In addition
, these kinds of facilities for fields may cause many problems, related to the
water
and energy supplements in urban
areas
.
For example
, in my home town there are issues, which connect to the
water
and the cause of these troubles are many farms, which are located near my home. In light of the above, delving into the previous paragraphs, I think that transforming parks into working
areas
for producing fresh food is more harmful to society, rather than having positive effects.
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task achievement
Maximize the effectiveness of your introduction by directly responding to the question and stating whether you believe the benefits do or do not outweigh the disadvantages. Your essay should present this clearly from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Demonstrate clear coherence by organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a single main idea or aspect of the topic. Ensure that there is a logical flow to the sequence in which you present your arguments.
task achievement
Support each of your main points with specific examples. Your essay currently lacks detail and tangible evidence to bolster the arguments made. These examples help the reader understand and believe your points.
coherence cohesion
Aim to vary your sentence structure to demonstrate a range of grammatical forms and to enhance the readability of your writing. This variation helps sustain the reader's interest and showcases your command of the language.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community engagement
  • Public health
  • Physical activity
  • Educational opportunities
  • Sustainability
  • Urban greening
  • Heat island effect
  • Air quality
  • Biodiversity
  • Recreational activities
  • Maintenance challenges
  • Allocation of responsibilities
  • Social inequality
  • Garden plots
  • Fairness concerns
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