In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Telephone or letter was the only way to communicate with
people
back at home in the past. However
, these days people
are using mobil
devices to connect with other Correct your spelling
mobile
people
anywhere and anytime. This
of course have
more advantages than disadvantages because mobile devices offer conveniences and Change the verb form
has
offered
better ways to communicate rather than old methods.
These days Wrong verb form
offer
people
prefer to use a fast method to communicate especially in this
fast-pace
environment everything Correct your spelling
fast-paced
need
to be instant especially in Change the verb form
needs
Correct article usage
the businesses
businesses
world today. Mobile devices Change the noun form
business
allowed
that to happen because they offer convenience in terms of communicating. Mobile Wrong verb form
allow
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
allowed
a person to connect with others around the world with just a click and within a minute or even less they will getWrong verb form
allow
responds
from the other side. Replace the word
responses
For example
, Email or Whatsapp
are widely used to connect with Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
people
during businesses
, to contact a buyer or to replyFix the agreement mistake
business
a
complaint. These apps are available and accessible on smartphones which make Change preposition
to a
the
business transaction easier and convenient.
Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, smartphones' feature is also
greater than the traditional tools. This
is because they
able to afford a video call feature. Add a verb
they are
they were
This
will increase the quality of communication from just hearing voices and reading texts become watching the person on the other side. Thus
, this
will make daily conversations or even conducting business easier. For example
, rather than taking a trip to visit parents or acquintances
, Correct your spelling
acquaintances
people
can just conduct video calls which are more cost dan
Correct your spelling
and
time saving
. Add a hyphen
time-saving
Business man
Correct your spelling
Businessman
also
can immediately connect with their different states or countries buyers through that feature rather than flying out.
In conclusion, Having a mobile device is far more advantegous
because it is far more convenient and Correct your spelling
advantageous
offering
far better quality Wrong verb form
offers
to
Change preposition
of
communicate
rather than using traditional tools.Replace the word
communication
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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but there is a need to explore both advantages and disadvantages equivalently to provide a balanced argument before concluding if one outweighs the other.
coherence and cohesion
The essay should be structured with clear paragraphs including an introduction, body paragraphs (with one clear idea per paragraph), and a conclusion. Aim to state clear topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph for enhanced clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. The essay currently has some logical sequencing but lacks sophisticated coherence in places.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
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