In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Telephone or letter was the only way to communicate with
people
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back at home in the past.
However
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, these days
people
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are using
mobil
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mobile
devices to connect with other
people
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anywhere and anytime.
This
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of course
have
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has
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more advantages than disadvantages because mobile devices offer conveniences and
offered
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offer
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better ways to communicate rather than old methods. These days
people
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prefer to use a fast method to communicate especially in
this
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fast-pace
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fast-paced
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environment everything
need
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needs
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to be instant especially in
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the businesses
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businesses
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business
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world today. Mobile devices
allowed
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allow
show examples
that to happen because they offer convenience in terms of communicating. Mobile
phone
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phones
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allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
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a person to connect with others around the world with just a click and within a minute or even less they will get
responds
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responses
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from the other side.
For example
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, Email or
Whatsapp
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WhatsApp
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are widely used to connect with
people
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during
businesses
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business
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, to contact a buyer or to reply
a
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to a
show examples
complaint. These apps are available and accessible on smartphones which make
the
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apply
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business transaction easier and convenient.
Moreover
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, smartphones' feature is
also
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greater than the traditional tools.
This
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is because
they
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they are
they were
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able to afford a video call feature.
This
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will increase the quality of communication from just hearing voices and reading texts become watching the person on the other side.
Thus
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,
this
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will make daily conversations or even conducting business easier.
For example
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, rather than taking a trip to visit parents or
acquintances
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acquaintances
,
people
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can just conduct video calls which are more cost
dan
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and
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time saving
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time-saving
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.
Business man
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Businessman
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also
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can immediately connect with their different states or countries buyers through that feature rather than flying out. In conclusion, Having a mobile device is far more
advantegous
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advantageous
because it is far more convenient and
offering
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offers
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far better quality
to
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of
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communicate
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communication
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rather than using traditional tools.
Submitted by lavenia34808 on

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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but there is a need to explore both advantages and disadvantages equivalently to provide a balanced argument before concluding if one outweighs the other.
coherence and cohesion
The essay should be structured with clear paragraphs including an introduction, body paragraphs (with one clear idea per paragraph), and a conclusion. Aim to state clear topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph for enhanced clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. The essay currently has some logical sequencing but lacks sophisticated coherence in places.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Connectivity
  • Geographical boundaries
  • International audience
  • Social movements
  • Convenience
  • Flexibility
  • Emergency contacts
  • Productivity
  • Information accessibility
  • Dependency
  • Over-reliance
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Privacy issues
  • Work-life boundaries
  • Uninterrupted personal time
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