In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#contact #people #home #telephone #devices #time #outweigh

Telephone or letter was the only way to communicate with

people

back at home in the past.

However

, these days

people

are using

mobil

Correct your spelling

mobile

devices to connect with other

people

anywhere and anytime.

This

of course

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

more advantages than disadvantages because mobile devices offer conveniences and

offered

Wrong verb form

offer

show examples

better ways to communicate rather than old methods. These days

people

prefer to use a fast method to communicate especially in

this

fast-pace

Correct your spelling

fast-paced

show examples

environment everything

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to be instant especially in

Correct article usage

the businesses

show examples

businesses

Change the noun form

business

show examples

world today. Mobile devices

allowed

Wrong verb form

allow

show examples

that to happen because they offer convenience in terms of communicating. Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

allowed

Wrong verb form

allow

show examples

a person to connect with others around the world with just a click and within a minute or even less they will get

responds

Replace the word

responses

show examples

from the other side.

For example

, Email or

Correct your spelling

show examples

are widely used to connect with

people

during

businesses

Fix the agreement mistake

business

show examples

, to contact a buyer or to reply

Change preposition

to a

show examples

complaint. These apps are available and accessible on smartphones which make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

business transaction easier and convenient.

Moreover

, smartphones' feature is

also

greater than the traditional tools.

This

is because

they

Add a verb

they are

they were

show examples

able to afford a video call feature.

This

will increase the quality of communication from just hearing voices and reading texts become watching the person on the other side.

Thus

this

will make daily conversations or even conducting business easier.

For example

, rather than taking a trip to visit parents or

acquintances

Correct your spelling

acquaintances

people

can just conduct video calls which are more cost

dan

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

time saving

Add a hyphen

time-saving

show examples

Business man

Correct your spelling

Businessman

show examples

also

can immediately connect with their different states or countries buyers through that feature rather than flying out. In conclusion, Having a mobile device is far more

advantegous

Correct your spelling

advantageous

because it is far more convenient and

offering

Wrong verb form

offers

show examples

far better quality

Change preposition

show examples

communicate

Replace the word

communication

show examples

rather than using traditional tools.

Submitted by lavenia34808 on Fri Nov 24 2023

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task achievement

The essay partially addresses the prompt, but there is a need to explore both advantages and disadvantages equivalently to provide a balanced argument before concluding if one outweighs the other.

coherence and cohesion

The essay should be structured with clear paragraphs including an introduction, body paragraphs (with one clear idea per paragraph), and a conclusion. Aim to state clear topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph for enhanced clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. The essay currently has some logical sequencing but lacks sophisticated coherence in places.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people think that we should keep all the money we earn and not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a complete essay to answer the following question and finish your writing at the end of the class. In some developing countries, disabled people are not given proper access to public and private facilities. What are some possible effects of this problem and solutions to it?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.