The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays many
crimes
are committed by young
people
. Some
people
consider teaching parenting skills to fathers and mothers is good way to decrease.
However
, I will claim
schools
and the government
also
need to take some responsibility for going crime.
To begin
with,
schools
like
Add a missing verb
are like
show examples
a small community to teach youngsters to differentiate between right and wrong. There are many problems when
children
play with others,
such
as playing with toys. They do not know how to share with others so they will argue and hit each other. School teachers will teach the correct way to deal with these situations.
Moreover
,
schools
always provide many courses to keep
children
go
Verb problem
apply
show examples
away from committing
crimes
.
In addition
, governments need to lead
children
to comply with the law about committing
crimes
.
For example
, they can produce a film to figure out about the law that
children
comply
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
They
also
can collaborate with
schools
to show special lessons like young
people
committing
crimes
what will they be and what they need to experience when they get in prison.
Moreover
, they can plan an activity let
children
to understand that committing
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
is not correct.
To sum up
, parents need to teach their
children
what is right and wrong.
However
,
schools
and
schools
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
a main role in reducing bad things from young
people
,
such
as providing courses and leading to compliance with the law.
Submitted by pobbywang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Maintain a clear position throughout your response. The essay seems to waver between different viewpoints without asserting a clear stance on whether or not you agree with the statement.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. Your argumentation lacks concrete examples which would make your essay much stronger.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more effectively. Your introduction should clearly present your argument, and each body paragraph should contain a single clear idea with appropriate supportive details.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. There are several grammatical errors that could be easily avoided with careful proofreading.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. The current conclusion does not provide a clear summary of the essay's content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: