The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree.

#crime #youngsters #parents #skills

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Nowadays many

crimes

are committed by young

people

. Some

people

consider teaching parenting skills to fathers and mothers is good way to decrease.

However

, I will claim

schools

and the government

also

need to take some responsibility for going crime.

To begin

with,

schools

Add a missing verb

are like

show examples

a small community to teach youngsters to differentiate between right and wrong. There are many problems when

children

play with others,

such

as playing with toys. They do not know how to share with others so they will argue and hit each other. School teachers will teach the correct way to deal with these situations.

Moreover

schools

always provide many courses to keep

children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

away from committing

crimes

In addition

, governments need to lead

children

to comply with the law about committing

crimes

For example

, they can produce a film to figure out about the law that

children

comply

Change preposition

with.

show examples

They

also

can collaborate with

schools

to show special lessons like young

people

committing

crimes

what will they be and what they need to experience when they get in prison.

Moreover

, they can plan an activity let

children

to understand that committing

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

is not correct.

To sum up

, parents need to teach their

children

what is right and wrong.

However

schools

and

schools

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

a main role in reducing bad things from young

people

such

as providing courses and leading to compliance with the law.

Submitted by pobbywang on Fri Nov 24 2023

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Task Achievement

Maintain a clear position throughout your response. The essay seems to waver between different viewpoints without asserting a clear stance on whether or not you agree with the statement.

Task Achievement

Include specific examples to support your points. Your argumentation lacks concrete examples which would make your essay much stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more effectively. Your introduction should clearly present your argument, and each body paragraph should contain a single clear idea with appropriate supportive details.

Coherence & Cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. There are several grammatical errors that could be easily avoided with careful proofreading.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. The current conclusion does not provide a clear summary of the essay's content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

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The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree.

Word Count

Task 2: Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some places lod age is valued,while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pulpils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a school uniform?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?