The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree.

#crime #youngsters #parents #skills

Nowadays many

crimes

are committed by young

people

. Some

people

consider teaching parenting skills to fathers and mothers is good way to decrease.

However

, I will claim

schools

and the government

also

need to take some responsibility for going crime.

To begin

with,

schools

Add a missing verb

are like

show examples

a small community to teach youngsters to differentiate between right and wrong. There are many problems when

children

play with others,

such

as playing with toys. They do not know how to share with others so they will argue and hit each other. School teachers will teach the correct way to deal with these situations.

Moreover

schools

always provide many courses to keep

children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

away from committing

crimes

In addition

, governments need to lead

children

to comply with the law about committing

crimes

For example

, they can produce a film to figure out about the law that

children

comply

Change preposition

with.

show examples

They

also

can collaborate with

schools

to show special lessons like young

people

committing

crimes

what will they be and what they need to experience when they get in prison.

Moreover

, they can plan an activity let

children

to understand that committing

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

is not correct.

To sum up

, parents need to teach their

children

what is right and wrong.

However

schools

and

schools

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

a main role in reducing bad things from young

people

such

as providing courses and leading to compliance with the law.

Submitted by pobbywang on Fri Nov 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Maintain a clear position throughout your response. The essay seems to waver between different viewpoints without asserting a clear stance on whether or not you agree with the statement.

Task Achievement

Include specific examples to support your points. Your argumentation lacks concrete examples which would make your essay much stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more effectively. Your introduction should clearly present your argument, and each body paragraph should contain a single clear idea with appropriate supportive details.

Coherence & Cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. There are several grammatical errors that could be easily avoided with careful proofreading.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. The current conclusion does not provide a clear summary of the essay's content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Millions of people move to English speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answers
In searching of money, tourism as well as travelling, this is why many humans are relocating to English speaking states such as England, America and Australia.Therefore, English as a global dialect, it plays a pivotal role in human lives and that is why other students preferred to learn at an university in such countries since those are richest places on earth.
7
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn foreign language. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
In this modern era, people are gaining knowledge through new languages. Some people believe that the only motive for studying a foreign language is in order to work and travel in that nation. While others think that these are not the only reasons why an individual should study a foreign language. It is important to discuss both sides of the view to gain appropriate knowledge. In this essay, I will explain both views with examples.
5.5
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Wealthy nations frequently give financial assistance to the impoverished ones as part of diplomatic actions. This could be highly beneficial to solve some part of their problems, but there should be long-term and sustainable aid to hinder them from facing the same problems in the future.
7
band
The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. To what extent do you agree?
One school of thought holds that capital punishment is optimal to restrict crime rates. While I accept that this perception is somewhat justifiable, I would contend that there are various points against this notion.
5.5
band
Some people prefer to spend most of their time with friends. Other people prefer to be alone most of the time. Which way of life do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.
Today, many people like to be with their friends most of the time. On the other side, some people are eager to be alone most of the time. According to my perceptions, being with friends is better than being alone. Because, soleness will lead the person toward some diseases and makes the person away from society.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree.

Word Count

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Millions of people move to English speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answers

Some people say that the only reason for learning foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn foreign language. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. To what extent do you agree?

Some people prefer to spend most of their time with friends. Other people prefer to be alone most of the time. Which way of life do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+