The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree.

#crime #youngsters #parents #skills

Nowadays many

crimes

are committed by young

people

. Some

people

consider teaching parenting skills to fathers and mothers is good way to decrease.

However

, I will claim

schools

and the government

also

need to take some responsibility for going crime.

To begin

with,

schools

Add a missing verb

are like

show examples

a small community to teach youngsters to differentiate between right and wrong. There are many problems when

children

play with others,

such

as playing with toys. They do not know how to share with others so they will argue and hit each other. School teachers will teach the correct way to deal with these situations.

Moreover

schools

always provide many courses to keep

children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

away from committing

crimes

In addition

, governments need to lead

children

to comply with the law about committing

crimes

For example

, they can produce a film to figure out about the law that

children

comply

Change preposition

with.

show examples

They

also

can collaborate with

schools

to show special lessons like young

people

committing

crimes

what will they be and what they need to experience when they get in prison.

Moreover

, they can plan an activity let

children

to understand that committing

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

is not correct.

To sum up

, parents need to teach their

children

what is right and wrong.

However

schools

and

schools

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

a main role in reducing bad things from young

people

such

as providing courses and leading to compliance with the law.

Submitted by pobbywang on Fri Nov 24 2023

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Task Achievement

Maintain a clear position throughout your response. The essay seems to waver between different viewpoints without asserting a clear stance on whether or not you agree with the statement.

Task Achievement

Include specific examples to support your points. Your argumentation lacks concrete examples which would make your essay much stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more effectively. Your introduction should clearly present your argument, and each body paragraph should contain a single clear idea with appropriate supportive details.

Coherence & Cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. There are several grammatical errors that could be easily avoided with careful proofreading.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. The current conclusion does not provide a clear summary of the essay's content.

Word Count

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree.

Word Count

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree

Nowadays, the use of private cars is increasing dramatically and moeny spent on the road system is rising. Who should pay for this? Some people think the users should pay, while others think the government should pay. Discuss and give your opinion

Some people say that with the development of modern technology printed books, newspapers and magazines lose their importance. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children.