The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree.

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Nowadays many
crimes
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are committed by young
people
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. Some
people
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consider teaching parenting skills to fathers and mothers is good way to decrease.
However
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, I will claim
schools
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and the government
also
Linking Words
need to take some responsibility for going crime.
To begin
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with,
schools
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like
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are like
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a small community to teach youngsters to differentiate between right and wrong. There are many problems when
children
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play with others,
such
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as playing with toys. They do not know how to share with others so they will argue and hit each other. School teachers will teach the correct way to deal with these situations.
Moreover
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,
schools
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always provide many courses to keep
children
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go
Verb problem
apply
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away from committing
crimes
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.
In addition
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, governments need to lead
children
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to comply with the law about committing
crimes
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.
For example
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, they can produce a film to figure out about the law that
children
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comply
.
Change preposition
with.
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They
also
Linking Words
can collaborate with
schools
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to show special lessons like young
people
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committing
crimes
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what will they be and what they need to experience when they get in prison.
Moreover
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, they can plan an activity let
children
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to understand that committing
crime
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a crime
the crime
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is not correct.
To sum up
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, parents need to teach their
children
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what is right and wrong.
However
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,
schools
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and
schools
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
a main role in reducing bad things from young
people
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,
such
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as providing courses and leading to compliance with the law.

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Task Achievement
Maintain a clear position throughout your response. The essay seems to waver between different viewpoints without asserting a clear stance on whether or not you agree with the statement.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. Your argumentation lacks concrete examples which would make your essay much stronger.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more effectively. Your introduction should clearly present your argument, and each body paragraph should contain a single clear idea with appropriate supportive details.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. There are several grammatical errors that could be easily avoided with careful proofreading.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. The current conclusion does not provide a clear summary of the essay's content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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