Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #parents’ #house #adults

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These days, there is a long-term debate on children’s house-leaving themes.

While

one section of society, including myself, holds the view that young individuals should leave their parents’

home

as soon as they reach maturity, others argue that the longer children stay at

home

, the more beneficial it will be. In

this

essay, I am going to discuss both of these views and state my personal position. On the one hand, leaving a

parent

Change noun form

parent's

show examples

home

can guarantee the autonomy, independence, and impartiality of young people.

Firstly

, living alone can provide a huge number of new hard and soft skills,

such

as financial intelligence and keeping a household.

This

useful knowledge may have good effects on the youngsters’ later lives and support them in building a successful life path.

Furthermore

, by leaving their family

home

, individuals are able to gain total freedom and the right to choose their own lifestyle. Recent research conducted by the ICPO (International Children’s Protection Organization) has revealed that about 300 million kids are not capable of developing their talents

due to

restrictions made by family-dominated representatives.

However

, starting an independent life gives you opportunities to grow in many fields and develop as an individual.

On the other hand

, the absence of control by parents can lead to catastrophic consequences.

To begin

with, the scarcity of parental monitoring may result in a child’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

changing.

For example

, people who

left

Wrong verb form

leave

show examples

their family

home

tend to be more eccentric, egoistic, and non-disciplined.

As a result

, they become unsociable and aggressive.

In addition

, some negative habits may occur in children without guardians. As an example, 11% of people who left their parents’

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

when they were 18 years old in the Russian Federation had alcohol and tobacco addictions.

This

trend can be harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

humans' health and well-being. From my personal point of view, I really believe that leaving a parent at a young age is beneficial for youngsters, and it should be encouraged. In conclusion, despite some disadvantages, leaving

home

is an effective way for

unexperienced

Correct your spelling

inexperienced

show examples

humans to start a new independent life.

Submitted by xurshid030 on Fri Nov 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and consistent structure throughout the essay. Use a variety of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Expand on ideas to fully develop arguments, incorporating more specific examples and explanations. Each main point should be elaborated in detail to showcase a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, providing a balanced discussion of both views and a clear, well-supported personal opinion. Make sure the response fully answers the question without digressing into unrelated material.

task achievement

Include a wider range of specific, relevant examples to support main arguments. This adds credibility to the points made and demonstrates an ability to apply ideas in a practical context.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

345 words

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Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this?How can people research this?

Some people think that wearing uniforms fosters solidarity between staff and makes them feel part of a team. Others claim that it is better to have a dress code than a uniform. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that individuals do no protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment.Discuss both views and give your opinion.