Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, there is a long-term debate on children’s house-leaving themes.
While
one section of society, including myself, holds the view that young individuals should leave their parents’ home
as soon as they reach maturity, others argue that the longer children stay at home
, the more beneficial it will be. In this
essay, I am going to discuss both of these views and state my personal position.
On the one hand, leaving a parent
Change noun form
parent's
home
can guarantee the autonomy, independence, and impartiality of young people. Firstly
, living alone can provide a huge number of new hard and soft skills, such
as financial intelligence and keeping a household. This
useful knowledge may have good effects on the youngsters’ later lives and support them in building a successful life path. Furthermore
, by leaving their family home
, individuals are able to gain total freedom and the right to choose their own lifestyle. Recent research conducted by the ICPO (International Children’s Protection Organization) has revealed that about 300 million kids are not capable of developing their talents due to
restrictions made by family-dominated representatives. However
, starting an independent life gives you opportunities to grow in many fields and develop as an individual.
On the other hand
, the absence of control by parents can lead to catastrophic consequences. To begin
with, the scarcity of parental monitoring may result in a child’s behavior
changing. Change the spelling
behaviour
For example
, people who left
their family Wrong verb form
leave
home
tend to be more eccentric, egoistic, and non-disciplined. As a result
, they become unsociable and aggressive. In addition
, some negative habits may occur in children without guardians. As an example, 11% of people who left their parents’ home
when they were 18 years old in the Russian Federation had alcohol and tobacco addictions. Fix the agreement mistake
homes
This
trend can be harmful for
humans' health and well-being.
From my personal point of view, I really believe that leaving a parent at a young age is beneficial for youngsters, and it should be encouraged.
In conclusion, despite some disadvantages, leaving Change the preposition
to
home
is an effective way for unexperienced
humans to start a new independent life.Correct your spelling
inexperienced
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and consistent structure throughout the essay. Use a variety of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Expand on ideas to fully develop arguments, incorporating more specific examples and explanations. Each main point should be elaborated in detail to showcase a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, providing a balanced discussion of both views and a clear, well-supported personal opinion. Make sure the response fully answers the question without digressing into unrelated material.
task achievement
Include a wider range of specific, relevant examples to support main arguments. This adds credibility to the points made and demonstrates an ability to apply ideas in a practical context.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example