Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

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Some people argue that

women

Use synonyms

should not be in

jobs

Use synonyms

that

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Change the verb form

are

show examples

traditionally for men

whereas

Linking Words

others argue that both genders are equal and that

women

Use synonyms

can apply for any

positions

Fix the agreement mistake

position

show examples

they want. I agree with the statement that

women

Use synonyms

should not be choosing

jobs

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that are for men

due to

Linking Words

their physical stature and maternal responsibilities.

Firstly

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, some

women

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are more fragile and weaker compared to their male counterparts. There are certain

jobs

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that require physical strength and muscle power which limits

women

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from applying to these roles.

For instance

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, working in building construction, mining and oil drilling can be physically taxing and demanding.

This

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can result in injuries and accidents which can pose difficulties for

women

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working in these environments.

Hence

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, it requires

women

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to be strong and physically fit to be able to withstand

such

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harsh working conditions.

Secondly

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, traditional male

jobs

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are not very flexible and

child friendly

Add a hyphen

child-friendly

show examples

. It can be quite difficult for

women

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to get emergency leave for childcare or find anyone to look after their children.

For example

Linking Words

, studies have shown that

women

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male dominated

Add a hyphen

male-dominated

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

tend to leave their

jobs

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due to

Linking Words

uncooperative manner and lack of flexibility from their bosses.

This

Linking Words

shows that some

jobs

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are not suitable nor adaptable to

women

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with maternal responsibilities.

To conclude

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this

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essay supports the idea that men and

women

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are not equal in terms of job suitability. There are certain occupations that are unsuitable for

women

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due to

Linking Words

their small physique and maternal obligations.

mraha409Sat Jun 22 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding your arguments to address broader aspects of job suitability, such as emotional resilience and skill sets. This will help create a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.

task achievement

Include counterarguments to show a balanced perspective. This will demonstrate critical thinking and a deeper engagement with the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.

task achievement

Relevant examples are provided to support your points, strengthening your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that by the year 2050, the current system involving both teachers and students in the classroom will no longer exist. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?