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Band 4.5

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

#consumers #numbers #advertisements #companies #measures
Living in a century
that is
 influenced materialistically, we are inundated with an array of
advertisements
. In my opinion, the excess practice of it, whether on TV,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 or print media, could be menacing as it invigorates
people
 to spend more without thinking cautiously.
Hence
, there should be some protective measures to avert
over-spending
Correct your spelling
overspending
show examples
. In the following essays, I shall discuss
this
 in detail.
To begin
 with, compelling advertising, showcasing attractive
products
 and services, forces
people
 to spend even when it is not necessary. In the present scenario, companies with massive budgets have adopted varying methods to advertise their offering, ranging from TV commercials to flyers in
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 it is becoming strenuous for
people
 to escape from these activities.
For instance
, if you are watching a cricket match, it is very likely that you will come across logos or
advertisements
 of sponsors.
Similarly
, if you are watching a web series or a movie, you will find a promotional product. At the very least, even if you are just scrolling through social media in your free time, you will find hoards of
advertisements
 or influencers promoting
products
.
This
 volume of advertising simply means that we, as consumers, are profoundly cajoled into purchasing
such
products
 without giving them enough thought. As far as the regulation is concerned, it is not a piece of cake to decide how the
advertisements
 can be regulated. Evidently, governments have to restrict
advertisements
 for
such
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
products
 that could pose health threats or are harmful,
such
 as tobacco, alcohol, and more. Considering that the government doesn’t have significant control over other advertising forms, consumers will have to use their common sense.
This
 includes brainstorming over the need
of
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for
show examples
 a product
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 giving up in front of the desires or wants. Waiting for
24-hours
Correct your spelling
24 hours
 before buying a product can help as well.
This
 means not scrolling through
products
 on the internet mindlessly or not giving in to the temptation of buying the latest smartphone. In the end, it could be concluded that
while
 it is difficult to escape entirely from
advertisements
 and their effects,
people
 should control their urges to purchase anything unnecessarily.
Submitted by xueyinggao2023 on

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structure
Ensure clear paragraphing with an explicit introduction and conclusion. The conclusion lacked a summary of the main points and did not effectively restate the thesis.
development
Develop main points more thoroughly with specific examples to illustrate arguments. While some examples are given, they lack depth and specificity to fully support the claims made.
precision
Avoid overgeneralizing; use more precise statements and language to articulate arguments cohesively.
task response
Present a complete argument by addressing both parts of the question. The essay should discuss not only the influence of advertisements but also measures to protect consumers, which was not fully explored.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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