IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Financial education should be a compulsory subject at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#education #school
Finance in general is an important matter in
life
. I believe that It should be required for everyone to take
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 in financial
education
 and I will elaborate
further
 in my statements
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
. As we can see in our current society, Without proper knowledge It is very difficult for children to navigate the very dangerous road of
life
. Giving financial
education
 would help them reduce social debts by teaching them budgeting and the importance of saving. We should
also
 be aware that teaching financial
education
 in school leads to more informed decision-making in multiple
faucets
Correct your spelling
facets
show examples
 of
life
. The more noteworthy of which are loans,credit and
understanting
Correct your spelling
understanding
 what interest rate means. With
this
knowledge
Add a comma
knowledge,
show examples
 they could find a better way of
life
 in general as one would affect the other.
While
 critics would argue that
this
 may dilute the focus of traditional
achademic
Correct your spelling
academic
 studies, I believe that
this
 is a
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 part of
education
 and we should do our best to ready our youth for the future. they should be able to correctly evaluate and decide for their
life
 and we should provide them with enough knowledge to do so.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with clear supporting details and examples.
task achievement
Avoid general statements and focus on specific aspects of financial education.
coherence cohesion
Provide a conclusive paragraph that summarizes your argument comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Work on the accuracy of grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas to provide a more thorough understanding of the subject.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures for a more dynamic and interesting essay.
task achievement
Pay attention to spelling and word choice to maintain academic formality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • savings
  • investing
  • tax obligations
  • retirement planning
  • loans
  • credit
  • interest rates
  • crowded curricula
  • traditional academic subjects
  • real-life experiences
  • parental guidance
  • practical
  • intellectually rigorous
  • school syllabus
  • gig economy
  • income-streams
  • challenging
  • trained teachers
  • specialized field
What to do next:
Look at other essays: