IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future all cars, buses and dricks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #dricks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
In the modern world, vehicles without
drivers
 have a variety of effects on society that could have both negative and positive effects on our physiological state. I reckon that a crucial number of
people
 who possess these vehicles will drive their
cars
 more safely thanks to the security system in these
cars
whereas
 the unemployment
rate
 among the
drivers
 will certainly increase.
This
 means that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of driverless
cars
 are greater than the drawbacks.
To begin
 with, the most significant benefit of autonomous
cars
 is that they provide us with enhanced security. To illustrate, when
people
 get distracted or exhausted, they can easily cause traffic accidents.
However
, as far as driverless
cars
 are concerned, they possess advanced electronic systems that prevent terminal accidents.
Hence
, the
rate
 of death and injury primarily absolutely diminishes.
For Instance
, Mercedes Benz
cars
 include detectors and systems that warn
drivers
 in case of accidents or obstacles; thereby, ensuring the security of
people
 in the car.
On the other hand
, there are some cons of these vehicles that increase the number of unemployed
people
, particularly
drivers
.
In other words
, seeing that there is no need for taxi or bus
drivers
, the unemployment
rate
 will certainly skyrocket.
According to
 one of the articles that I read; some experts assume that 2 million
people
 will lose their jobs in Europe
due to
 autonomous
cars
. That said, I reckon that there will be always a solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 crucial problem
such
 as creating new jobs. In conclusion, I will agree that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a vehicle without
drivers
 has a non-damaging
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society but
also
 the unemployment
rate
 among the
drivers
 will absolutely increase.
Submitted by haticecoza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay addresses the topic but could benefit from a clearer structure. Having distinctive paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages helps, but ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas are not mixed. Use a variety of linking phrases to improve cohesion.
task achievement
The task has been responded to, but the exploration of the implications of the main points could be more thorough. Make sure that all parts of the prompt are addressed with sufficient detail and support your points with more specific examples.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: