The only way to improve road safety is to give stricter punishments to driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Road

safety and its influences have long been a topic of numerous debates , especially in recent years. I totally agree that the

punishments

will stimulate

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

road

accidents

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because the people will not want to face

with

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the financial hardships of

punishments

and public awareness of the society will burgeon about strict penalties. One major advantage of financial penalties would be

demotivation

Correct article usage

the demotivation

show examples

of the offenders to do harmful actions

Change preposition

show examples

the

road

. Considering the fact that in the modern and capitalistic

society

Add a comma

society,

show examples

people would not want to pay high fines

due to

their one trivial misbehave.

As a result

, drivers will step off from violation of the law and endangerment of a

road

as well. Another significant advantage is the

acceptence

Correct your spelling

acceptance

of the city dwellers to the

punishments

According to

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

some public policy theories

Add a comma

show examples

as the number and amount of

punishments

get higher and higher, the public

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

used to these changes and

acknowledge

Correct subject-verb agreement

acknowledges

show examples

the fact that they have to obey the law.

Consequently

they

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

will be less traffic congestion and accidents. In conclusion,

while

others

supporting

Wrong verb form

support

show examples

the opposite view, I believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

imposing strict penalties will

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public awareness and financially demotivate from

acting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

road

crime

acts

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Submitted by ealiyev13182 on Sat Nov 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. While your conclusion does restate your opinion, it could be stronger by summarizing the main points more effectively.

Task Achievement

Work on presenting clear and well-developed arguments. Your ideas are relevant, but you should provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

Strive to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea. Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors as these can impact the clarity of your argument. Proofreading your essay would help to eliminate such mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

204 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

deter
reckless behavior
psychological deterrence
adhere
penalties
awareness campaigns
knowledge and skills
technological solutions
advanced safety features
automatic braking systems
lane departure warnings
traffic surveillance
enforce laws
socio-economic impact
disproportionately
broader social issues
community engagement
road safety culture
collective responsibility

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that the government should decide which subject should study at the university, while others think that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.
On the one hand, many people are of the view that students should have choice to select their fields of studies. On the contrary, other are in ther favour of constant supervision for education. In my perspective, both authorities and individuals will get benefits, if scholars are properly guided.
6.5
band
Some people believe that every human being can create art (e.g. poetry, music, paintings). Other people think art can only be created by people born with a special ability. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, with so much competition around, people have different views on art creation. Some believe that every individual can participate in art activities, whereas others argue that creativity can only be provided by those who have a talent. This essay will consider both viewpoints and provide my opinion in the conclusion.
6
band
People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
When time changes, the trend does change as well. People opt to go alone for any entertainment programme instead of doing those activities with other people or friends. Personally, this development is considered having more benefits than drawbacks in every aspect. There is an explanation to support the reasons.
5.5
band
Many people believe that it’s better to learn something in a group rather than individually. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that learning in groups is more effective than learning alone. I believe that group learning is much more rewarding than standing on one’s own. In this ,essay I will mention some of my reasons that illustrate my opinion.
7
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While many people are of the opinion that humans should admit a difficult circumstance, for example, an unpleasant job or lack of money, another view shared by others is that people should endeavour to improve these situations. From my own perspective, it is my opinion that we ought to make an attempt to better and overcome difficulties.

The only way to improve road safety is to give stricter punishments to driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the government should decide which subject should study at the university, while others think that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that every human being can create art (e.g. poetry, music, paintings). Other people think art can only be created by people born with a special ability. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe that it’s better to learn something in a group rather than individually. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.