in some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss some of the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In many countries around the world,
students
are often encouraged to take a school break,
such
as
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
or engaging in part-time work, before continuing their
university
studies
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views regarding the advantages and disadvantages of
students
taking a school break before pursuing higher education.
To begin
, educational authorities have established breaks for
students
, aiming to allow them to release stress accumulated during their
studies
.
Therefore
, it may be beneficial for
students
to maintain a spirited approach to
university
life. Taking part-time
jobs
or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
with friends are among the activities
students
can pursue during
this
break, significantly reducing stress and enhancing their work-related experiences.
Consequently
,
students
may approach their
university
studies
with renewed passion.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages to encouraging
students
to travel or take part-time
jobs
.
For example
, in Indonesia, some
students
may be tempted to postpone their
university
studies
after earning some income.
This
delay could be influenced by the allure of receiving a salary through employment. In
such
cases, parents play a crucial role in guiding
students
to ensure they balance work and educational commitments.
Additionally
, most part-time
jobs
offer lower salaries compared to the potential earnings after completing a 3-4 year
university
program. In summary, taking a break or engaging in part-time work after completing school can help alleviate student stress accumulated over the years of study.
However
,
students
need to be mindful of time limits when pursuing part-time
jobs
, as these roles may offer only monthly salaries.
Submitted by haloalwan on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, and subsequent sentences should support that idea. Transitions between paragraphs and ideas should be smooth and logical, guiding the reader through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, indicating an awareness of essay structure, which is positive. However, the conclusion needs to reiterate the key points more clearly and provide a final, decisive opinion on the matter.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more developed explanations and relevant examples. The use of specific details will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling to the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay should discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of the gap year in equal measure. Present your ideas with clarity and depth.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas comprehensively with a clear explanation of how they are relevant to the topic. Avoid repeating ideas and instead delve deeper into each concept to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Examples should be concrete and directly relate to the points you are making, rather than being generic or vague.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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