IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

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The perennial debate on whether nations should predominantly invest in vocational training over tertiary
education
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 ignites varied perspectives.
This
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 essay contends that
while
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 practical
skills
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 are imperative, the merits of a
university
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education
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 cannot be undermined. Primarily, proponents advocating spending more money on
skills
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 and vocational training underscore the immediate applicability of
such
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skills
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 in the workforce. Practical work tends to offer swift economic benefits, as it equips individuals with the expertise to fill the gaps in the labour market rapidly.
For instance
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, a surge in skilled labourers like electricians or plumbers can bolster a nation’s infrastructure and economy. In the same vein, vocational training can be seen as a catalyst for innovation. When technicians and craftsmen excel in their trades, it paves the way for enhanced productivity and, eventually, technological advancements. Contrastingly, those who support the motion to spend money on
university
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education
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 argue that higher
education
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 cultivates a more profound skill set, including critical thinking, analytical abilities, and versatility, which are indispensable in the dynamic global market. Universities act as incubators for professionals like engineers, doctors, and educators, whose roles cannot be understated. These institutions not only provide theoretical knowledge but
also
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 encourage research and development. A quintessential example would be the role
university
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 research plays in medical breakthroughs, which are fundamental to societal progression.
However
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, juxtaposing these two educational pathways presents a false dichotomy. It is crucial to acknowledge that both vocational training and
university
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education
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 serve distinct yet complementary purposes. Investing in both areas can yield a more holistic and robust workforce. A balanced approach would not only harness immediate skill sets but
also
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 foster long-term intellectual capital which could adapt to future changes in the job market. In conclusion, a balanced allocation of funds towards both vocational training and
university
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education
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 is imperative. The former addresses immediate economic demands with practical
skills
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,
while
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 the latter ensures long-term societal progress through intellectual development.
This
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 dual investment strategy is crucial for a nation's comprehensive growth.

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Task Response
To improve your task response score, make sure you fully address all parts of the question. This includes stating your own opinion clearly if the question asks for it, and ensuring that you expand on all points with detailed examples and explanations. Aim to include more specific examples to enrich your argument and to firmly anchor your discussion in real-world contexts.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have demonstrated strong coherence and cohesion with a clear logical structure and well-defined introduction and conclusion. To further enhance your writing, consider varying your linking devices and make sure your paragraphs flow seamlessly from one idea to the next. Additionally, aim to consistently support main points with clear and relevant examples throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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