In my country, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

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The number of

animals

Use synonyms

and

plants

Use synonyms

is decreasing over time in some countries.

This

Linking Words

problem arises

due to

Linking Words

several conditions, one of them is industrialization. To combat issues as

such

Linking Words

, there

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

to be numerous initiatives to be done, one of the ways is to make a regulation for more sustainable practice in

industry

Use synonyms

expansion. Nowadays, biodiversity is becoming more endangered, causing

animals

Use synonyms

and

plants

Use synonyms

to no longer exist. All living creatures, including

animals

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and

plants

Use synonyms

, are benefitting from the

forest

Use synonyms

, rainforest to be specific. Apart from producing oxygen and storing carbon,

Use synonyms

forest

Add an article

the forest

show examples

also

Linking Words

home to a wide variety of

animals

Use synonyms

and

plants

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, massive

industry

Use synonyms

expansion is disrupting the function of forests. In Indonesia, people cut trees and

replace

Wrong verb form

replaced

show examples

the

forest

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with palm

plantation

Fix the agreement mistake

plantations

show examples

, turning the

once green

Add a hyphen

once-green

show examples

forest

Use synonyms

into a vast land with only one type of plant. The reason

this

Linking Words

is happening is because of the high demand of

cooking

Correct article usage

the cooking

show examples

oil

industry

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

cooking oil is

also

Linking Words

essential in everyday

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

, there should

also

Linking Words

be a policy to reduce the harm it does to the wild lives. In

this

Linking Words

condition, the government should take great measures to harmonize the

industry

Use synonyms

expansion and the effort

in preserving

Change preposition

to preserve

show examples

biodiversity.

For example

Linking Words

in Brazil, the government is strict

to forbid

Change preposition

in forbidding

show examples

deforestation in

Correct article usage

the amazon

show examples

amazon

Capitalize word

Amazon

show examples

Use synonyms

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

, making the lives of

animals

Use synonyms

and

plants

Use synonyms

untouched.

This

Linking Words

policy can be implemented in other areas to protect the jungle and to conserve

animals

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and

plants

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the massive

show examples

massive

Correct article usage

the massive

show examples

growth of industries is affecting the area of forests, causing

animals

Use synonyms

and

plants

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to vanish.

While

Linking Words

the issue is complex, a comprehensive and strict regulation to govern the

industry

Use synonyms

will be useful in tackling the problem.

rizkyrizalzalMon Nov 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

To enhance your essay's coherence and cohesion, try to better organize your ideas through the use of clear topic sentences and cohesive devices. This will improve the logical flow of your essay, and establish a stronger connection between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Aim for more variation and precision in the use of linking words beyond basic conjunctions.

task achievement

While you presented relevant examples such as deforestation in Indonesia and policies in Brazil, to excel in task response, ensure that your examples are fully developed and closely related to the prompt. Each example should be elaborated with more specific details and an explanation of how it directly contributes to the issue being discussed or supports the solutions you propose.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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In my country, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Your opinion

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of technology and transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?