Growing up in the city is better for children's development and it helps them have a good life later on compared to living in the village. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In recent years, parents prefer to raise their
children
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in the
city
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. Because they think it is better for the
children
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's development.
Also
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, they agree that
city
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life
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helps the juveniles to have a good
life
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in the
future
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compared with the ones who live in the village. I firmly believe that growing up in a village has more benefits for the individual compared with metropolitan
life
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. On the one hand, going up in the
city
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has so many opportunities for the person.
For instance
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, because of the population in the cities,
children
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can communicate with other kids more. Namely ,
this
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can benefit the individual's social skills.
However
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, all
children
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are not the same. Some kids can have difficulties when communicating with others. So,
this
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problem can affect the
children
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's
future
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lives
such
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as not being able to attend to a project or jobs. Because of
this
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problem, some
people
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can be depressed in their
future
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life
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.
On the other hand
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village
life
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has better effects on mental health. Some researchers say that growing up in nature affects the person in a positive way. Because nature makes the person to be calm in every situation. So
this
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development affects the
future
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life
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in a good way. Because the
people
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who grew up in urban areas know how to be calm in complicated situations. So
this
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development has a significant place in job
life
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. In conclusion, growing up in the
city
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has so many opportunities,
such
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as communicating with other
people
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.
However
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, I definitely agree that growing up in urban areas
such
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as villages has so many benefits in a psychological way. These developments can reduce the number of
people
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who have mental health problems or panic attacks
Submitted by mcqueensever on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention particular programs, activities, or characteristics unique to cities or villages that impact children's development.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by ensuring each idea transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking phrases and conjunctions to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument with a conclusion that aligns with the writer's opinion.
coherence cohesion
The use of an introduction and conclusion helps to create a balanced and coherent structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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