Some people think that violent sports such as martial arts and boxing should be banned from international competitions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #arts #competitions

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There is a growing debate over whether aggressive

sports

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like martial arts and boxing should be prohibited in international competitions. I strongly contend that these

sports

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, which glorify

violence

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, should indeed be banned, as they pose significant risks not only to the participants but

also

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society

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as a whole.

This

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essay will substantiate

this

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view by examining the detrimental effects these

sports

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have on both athletes and spectators.

Firstly

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, it is imperative to acknowledge that

violence

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, in any form, should not be endorsed or normalised, particularly in a global arena where the values of sportsmanship and respect are paramount. When children witness violent

sports

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on television, they are often impressionable and prone to mimicry. Numerous incidents in schools have demonstrated that young viewers, influenced by programmes

such

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as WWE, attempt to replicate dangerous moves, often resulting in serious injuries.

Such

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exposure to

violence

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at an early age can desensitise children, potentially fostering aggressive behaviour that may lead to conflicts in their personal and social lives.

Therefore

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, allowing these

sports

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to continue sends the wrong message about acceptable behaviour in

society

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Moreover

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, the physical and psychological toll on athletes involved in these violent

sports

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cannot be overlooked. Repeated exposure to head injuries,

for instance

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, has been scientifically proven to cause long-term damage, including chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a debilitating brain condition. The tragic case of many former boxers who have suffered severe mental decline or even death

due to

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repeated head trauma is a stark reminder of the risks associated with these

sports

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For example

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, the case of a once-celebrated boxer who was rendered quadriplegic after a single unfortunate punch highlights the inherent dangers these

sports

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pose. It is unconscionable to continue endorsing activities that lead to

such

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devastating outcomes.

In addition

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to the harm inflicted on athletes, these violent

sports

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also

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have a corrosive effect on

society

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. The normalisation of aggression as entertainment can desensitise audiences to

violence

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, reducing empathy and increasing tolerance for violent behaviour in other contexts.

This

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is particularly concerning in an era where media consumption is at an all-time high, and the potential for negative influence is significant. In conclusion, I unequivocally support the notion that violent

sports

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such

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as martial arts and boxing should be banned from international competitions. The risks they pose to both participants and

society

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far outweigh any perceived benefits. In a world that increasingly values peace and mutual respect, there is no place for

sports

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that glorify

violence

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and endanger lives.

Submitted by khushichhillar on Thu Aug 29 2024

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task achievement

Consider adding diverse perspectives to strengthen the argument further. For example, acknowledging the counter-arguments about the benefits of these sports and then refuting them would provide a more balanced view.

coherence and cohesion

While the essay is very well-structured, varying the transition phrases could improve the flow even more. Try integrating synonymous transition words to avoid repetition and enhance readability.

task achievement

Providing more statistical evidence or referencing specific studies could further reinforce your arguments. Although your points are strong, empirical data can give them additional weight.

introduction and conclusion

The essay has a clear and compelling introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.

supported main points

The main points are well-supported with relevant examples that clearly illustrate the dangers of violent sports.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, showing a deep understanding of the topic. The language used is precise and articulate.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

411 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

serious injuries
long-term health problems
fatalities
protect athletes
promote aggression
violent behavior
impressionable audiences
personal choice
cultural heritage
infringement
economic aspects
financial benefits
economic repercussions
better regulations
stricter safety measures
reduce risks
preserve the sport

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Some people think that violent sports such as martial arts and boxing should be banned from international competitions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some cities, bicycle are replacing cars. What are the reason for this for these developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviours to children?

Happiness is considered very important in life,why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness. Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own knowledge and experiences.