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Band 4

People in developing countries purchasing car at the first time have cause severe problems

#people #countries #car #first #time
Initial purchasing
cars
Change preposition
of cars
show examples
 is worsening road conditions in developing
countries
. The root cause of
this
 issue is the cult of chasing modernity.
However
,
changing
Replace the word
changes
show examples
 in modernism can be employed to overcome it. The primary reason for people in developing
countries
depositting
Correct your spelling
depositing
 massively in order to own a
car
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ideal stating that
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 is a symbol
civilization
Change preposition
of civilization
show examples
. Because the standard of living in developing
countries
 is improving significantly, citizens in these nations
also
 become more willing
in buying
Change preposition
to buy
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 goods. They are
tighted
Correct your spelling
tightened
 to consumerism, star chasing luxury things and automobile is the most popular.
Consequently
, a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
car
ownerships
Replace the word
owners
show examples
worsening
Wrong verb form
worsen
show examples
 the traffic in developing nations.
For example
, Vietnam, a developing area, facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
massive traffic jams owing to the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
car
 usage. Fortunately, a solution can be found in individual attitudes which can be
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 by the habit of using transport from people in developed
countries
. The modern areas are where the bias for
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
show examples
 stems from, if citizens in these areas can change the way they travel, it will
also
 change those in the rest
countries
.
This
 can be
helpt
Verb problem
helped
show examples
 by
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 policies in
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 excises on buying cars and
also
 taxes
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
car
 ownership. Take German for consideration, because of
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
 policies from
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 sense of response from citizens, they have lowered the
car
proporion
Correct your spelling
proportion
proportions
 and even
switching
Wrong verb form
switched
show examples
 to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
Add an article
the bike
show examples
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 mainly. In conclusion,
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the first time is rooted in the notion
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 is the symbol of civilization.
On the contrary
, changing the ideal of modernism can improve the situation.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the formulation of your ideas making sure they follow a logical order and contribute to a coherent argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly identifiable and summarize the main points accurately.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific examples and details to strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task with a complete response that includes a clear introduction of the topic, development of ideas, and an appropriate conclusion.
task achievement
Aim for clear, comprehensive ideas in each of your paragraphs, using well-structured sentences and relevant details.
task achievement
Support your ideas with relevant and specific examples to clearly illustrate your points and add depth to your analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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