Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the enviroment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?
Deforestation
caused by human activities is happening in many regions all over the world, with serious results for the environment. Personally, I believe that this
problem can be solved in some ways which I shall explain in more detail in this
essay.
To begin
, we can see that today, many parts of the world are suffering negative effects on both the lives of residents and their properties due to
natural disasters such
as floods, droughts, earthquakes and so on. For example
, recently, an earthquake in Japan destroyed a city, moreover
, it took the lives of hundreds of individuals away. Another case in my country, Vietnam had a huge flood a few months ago. Although
all people were safe life but houses, streets, crops and cattle were damaged seriously. It is clear that
deforestation
has brought lots of difficulties to our lives. Therefore
, stopping deforestation
is a great way to protect the environment as well as
prevent natural disasters.
On the other hand
, I think that the problem caused by deforestation
can be addressed by the government's practical actions. Firstly
, they should produce force laws to control deforestation
activities. For example
, these years, the Vietnamese government has promulgated a rule that if a person demolishes the trees
in the forest, he or she will be punished by imprisonment for up to 50 years. Since this
law has been practised, the number of criminal deforestation
has decreased significantly. Secondly
, the increase in the size of forests
to alter for one which is cut is a key point, hence
, the planting of trees
in forests
should be encouraged. To illustrate, in my country, the power has hired local people to plant trees
in forests
. This
not only helps to increase the size and security of the forest areas but also
provides fine jobs for residents, so, they can cover the cost of living and reduce the risk of the poor cutting the trees
in the forest to earn money.
In conclusion, in this
essay, I would like to convey the message that forests
are very important for our habitat. It helps us to prevent natural disasters. Thus
, the government should produce grave laws to punish those who destroy forests
to stop deforestation
.Additionally
, they should also
encourage local families to plant trees
in forests
to make good the consequences of deforestation
.Submitted by writingeilts on
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general
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to improve, aim to better organize your ideas. For instance, the first body paragraph seems to address the effects of deforestation rather than suggesting solutions. Rephrasing and restructuring sentences for clarity can also help improve coherence.
general
To achieve a higher score in Task Achievement, make sure that each paragraph directly addresses the topic. The second body paragraph is more aligned with providing solutions, but the first one primarily discusses the consequences. Focus on expanding your solutions and backing them up with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied linking words and phrases. Transition between ideas smoothly and avoid repetition. This will help maintain the reader's interest and improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion on the topic.
task achievement
The use of examples from specific regions, such as Japan and Vietnam, helps to illustrate your points and makes the essay more engaging.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.