some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it is advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
people
argue that living in high-rise building are only for lonely and unhappy folks, while
others against
it because it can be Add a missing verb
are against
as
Change preposition
apply
an
advantageous to stay Correct article usage
apply
in
there Change preposition
apply
instead
. In response to that argument, I prefer supporting the second opinion, yet this
essay will elaborate a deep exploration of both views.
People
who live in high-rise apartments typically do not know many people
in their building because there is no term like shared-connection
as Correct your spelling
shared connection
people
who live in
surrounded by Change preposition
apply
neigborhood
around them. That reason is probably the main factor why many Correct your spelling
neighbourhoods
people
are considered
living in high-rise Wrong verb form
considering
building
only for Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
people
who are lonely and unhappy. However
, what they have in commen
is they can afford Correct your spelling
common
such
a high-standard living most likely due to
their high-paid salary from their jobs. Instead
judging
their Change preposition
of judging
unhappy
and Replace the word
unhappiness
lonely
, they are living their fullest Replace the word
loneliness
lifes
because they accomplished what they desire.
Having a chance to live in Correct your spelling
lives
life
such
a
luxurious Correct article usage
apply
accomodation
manifested into one of their bucket Correct your spelling
accommodation
list
. There is one particular trait Change to a plural noun
lists
what
those Correct word choice
that
people
who achieved
that sort of Wrong verb form
achieve
lifestyle
that they normally have high-paid occupations so that
can afford that Correct pronoun usage
they
lifestyle
to live in high-rise apartments. So, people
who lives
in high-rise Change the verb form
live
apartmens
do not mean they are lonelyCorrect your spelling
apartments
apartment
,
and unhappy. Remove the comma
apply
Otherwise
, they are all high-achiever
who successfully accomplished their present Correct your spelling
high-achievers
lifestyle
due to
their hardwork
and Correct your spelling
hard work
perserverence
. Correct your spelling
perseverance
For instance
, many people
relocate from small cities into
bigger cities Change preposition
to
such
as Tokyo or New York City because they succeeded to reach
some level of income.
In conclusion, Change preposition
in reaching
people
who successfully achieved high-standard living to live in high-rise apartments does
not mean they are unhappy and lonely. Correct subject-verb agreement
do
Otherwise
, they surely are one of the hardworkers
Correct your spelling
hardworking
people
because to afford in
Change preposition
apply
such
luxurious accomodation
is not for many Correct your spelling
accommodation
people
. So, having a high-standard lifestyle
has become their choices
and probably that makes them happy.Fix the agreement mistake
choice
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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should state the topic and your thesis, the body paragraphs should explore each view separately with clear topic sentences, and the conclusion should summarise the points made and restate your opinion.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices accurately and appropriately. Transition words such as 'however,' 'furthermore,' and 'for instance' can help guide the reader through your essay, but they must be used in the correct context and should not be overused.
support
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. While you have provided some examples, further details and elaboration would strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task response
Fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should clearly present both views before stating your opinion, and you should spend roughly the same amount of space discussing each view to fully respond to the prompt.
logical structure
Enhance the coherence of your essay with logical paragraphs that flow smoothly from one to the next. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, clearly presented at the beginning, and developed throughout the paragraph.