These days too many people maintained that helped by relying on doctors and medicines rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.Do you agree or disagree?
It is no wonder that nowadays people
are prefer
relying on health workers and Change the verb form
prefer
stuffs
rather than living a healthy life. I truly agree with Correct your spelling
staff
this
statement as I also
the one who Add a missing verb
am also
prefer
depends get maintained by Change the verb form
prefers
doctors
and drugs as it more simple
to have a treatment than do some preventive actions.
Living a healthy life means that we Replace the word
simpler
have
Verb problem
are
concern
enough with everything Replace the word
concerned
according to
our body, like what we do, what we eat, and even our sleeping time. We have to be discipline
to do Wrong verb form
disciplined
this
in our routines
. For example
, we have to wake up at least at 5 am in the morning then
do exercise, get Rephrase
apply
some
healthy breakfast, and Correct determiner usage
a
then
eat healthy
lunch, and get enough sleep for Correct article usage
a healthy
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
8
hours a day. Change preposition
of 8
According to
these, I am sure that not everyone can do this
Change the determiner
this routine
these routines
routines
according to
their activities and necessity.
In contrast
, many people are prefer
living a life as they want rather than following a healthy lifestyleChange the verb form
prefer
,
because it is more flexible for them. Most Remove the comma
apply
of
individuals dislike regulations, they do not like being regulated on what time they have to wake up, Change preposition
apply
what
foods they have to eat. Correct word choice
or what
Moreover
, they do not like be
forced to do exercise. Change the form of the verb
being
However
, when they finally
fall sick or feel unwell, they might go to the doctors
or consume some medicines to cure their body.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that most Fix the agreement mistake
doctor
of
people are more likely to be helped by Change preposition
apply
doctors
and drugs after they feel unwell or sick rather than following healthy routines
which is
might be incriminating for some. Unnecessary verb
apply
Furthermore
, as long as they can do their activities as usual, practicing
healthy Change the spelling
practising
routines
is not crucial to be followed because in the end
they can always rely on the Add a comma
end,
doctors
or drugs.Submitted by imsarunn on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear, logical structure. This includes well-organized paragraphs with clear main ideas followed by supporting sentences. Use cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and states your position, as well as a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. Both introduction and conclusion need to be fully developed and coherent.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point in its separate paragraph with clearly explained arguments and relevant examples. Ensure that the connection between the main point and the supporting details is straightforward and evident.
task achievement
Thoroughly address all parts of the task. Make sure that your response is complete, with a clear opinion that is relevant to the question. The ideas presented need to be clear and expanded comprehensively throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Avoid general statements without concrete evidence, as this will strengthen the impact and credibility of your arguments.