Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
In
this
modern world, it is true that Linking Words
crimes
have risen all over the world. There are many offenders committing Use synonyms
crimes
once they are released from prison. The cause of Use synonyms
this
might be a lack of education during imprisonment or an inability to obtain employment, potentially leading to re-offending. Linking Words
However
, the problems are solvable, and there is a potential solution to prevent the situation.
Linking Words
To begin
with, there are numerous reasons why offenders commit Linking Words
crimes
once they are released from prison. Use synonyms
Due to
corporal punishment and uneducated when they are imprisoned, their mental behaviour changes, and for that reason, they commit offences again. Linking Words
For example
, during their term time, they are punished brutally by prisoners, and uneducated properly by jailers, which causes them to lose their mental capability. Linking Words
Additionally
, inability to obtain employment, proof of Linking Words
this
is that to be able to work as a normal person Linking Words
also
challenges them.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, there are some solutions to eliminate Linking Words
this
problem very effectively. Linking Words
Firstly
, the Linking Words
government
should implement education programs in jail to educate prisoners and give them an opportunity to be able to study Use synonyms
while
they are in prison, including providing official qualifications Linking Words
such
as a diploma, or bachelor’s degree. Linking Words
Secondly
, the Linking Words
government
should Use synonyms
also
support companies to help offenders with job pathways. Linking Words
For instance
, the Linking Words
government
subsidises the company to employ ex-convicts to motivate companies.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, Linking Words
due to
corporal punishment, and could not be able to work as normal individuals they committed Linking Words
crimes
again when they were discharged. Use synonyms
However
, providing education, or Linking Words
a
pathway job support from the Correct article usage
apply
government
is Use synonyms
also
a Linking Words
game changing
as to stop them from committing Add a hyphen
game-changing
crimes
.Use synonyms
Submitted by sunnyrogle22 on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and perform their functions adequately; however, they could be enhanced by stating your main points more distinctly and summarising your arguments more concisely, especially in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but the support could be strengthened by using a wider range of examples and by giving more detailed explanations. Aim to develop each point further with richer examples and more comprehensive analysis.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task adequately, covering both why offenders may re-offend and potential solutions to the problem. Ensure that every part of the question is fully answered to achieve a higher score.
task achievement
The ideas provided are clear, but their expression can be made more comprehensive with deeper elaboration and by connecting them directly back to the question throughout the essay.
task achievement
Relevant examples are given, but specificity could be enhanced. Offering more detailed examples and statistics, or citing real-world scenarios can make your argument more persuasive and your essay stronger.