Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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this

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modern world, it is true that

crimes

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have risen all over the world. There are many offenders committing

crimes

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once they are released from prison. The cause of

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might be a lack of education during imprisonment or an inability to obtain employment, potentially leading to re-offending.

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, the problems are solvable, and there is a potential solution to prevent the situation.

To begin

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with, there are numerous reasons why offenders commit

crimes

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once they are released from prison.

Due to

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corporal punishment and uneducated when they are imprisoned, their mental behaviour changes, and for that reason, they commit offences again.

For example

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, during their term time, they are punished brutally by prisoners, and uneducated properly by jailers, which causes them to lose their mental capability.

Additionally

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, inability to obtain employment, proof of

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is that to be able to work as a normal person

also

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challenges them.

On the other hand

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, there are some solutions to eliminate

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problem very effectively.

Firstly

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, the

government

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should implement education programs in jail to educate prisoners and give them an opportunity to be able to study

while

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they are in prison, including providing official qualifications

such

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as a diploma, or bachelor’s degree.

Secondly

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, the

government

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should

also

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support companies to help offenders with job pathways.

For instance

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, the

government

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subsidises the company to employ ex-convicts to motivate companies.

To sum up

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due to

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corporal punishment, and could not be able to work as normal individuals they committed

crimes

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again when they were discharged.

However

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, providing education, or

Correct article usage

apply

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pathway job support from the

government

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also

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game changing

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game-changing

show examples

as to stop them from committing

crimes

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sunnyrogle22Tue Nov 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure throughout. While the main points are present, the flow between them can be improved by better transitioning and more explicit linking of ideas. Aim to guide the reader through your argumentation more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and perform their functions adequately; however, they could be enhanced by stating your main points more distinctly and summarising your arguments more concisely, especially in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported, but the support could be strengthened by using a wider range of examples and by giving more detailed explanations. Aim to develop each point further with richer examples and more comprehensive analysis.

task achievement

Your response addresses the task adequately, covering both why offenders may re-offend and potential solutions to the problem. Ensure that every part of the question is fully answered to achieve a higher score.

task achievement

The ideas provided are clear, but their expression can be made more comprehensive with deeper elaboration and by connecting them directly back to the question throughout the essay.

task achievement

Relevant examples are given, but specificity could be enhanced. Offering more detailed examples and statistics, or citing real-world scenarios can make your argument more persuasive and your essay stronger.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
reintegration
rehabilitation programs
economic hardship
employment opportunities
social stigma
discrimination
psychological issues
mental health problems
substance abuse
negative peer influence
incarceration
offenders
ex-convicts
recidivist
penal system
preventative measures
re-offend
criminal justice system
reintegration strategies

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.