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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#part #everyone’s #life #people #lives
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Advertising is an inherent activity in
people
’s lives
that is
 used for many purposes.
However
,
while
 some
people
 regard it as unwanted content, I personally believe that advertising should be seen from a broader perspective that can create many opportunities for
people
. First things
first,
it is understandable reason why
people
 perceive
advertisements
 as some sort of negative influence. A few things to note, the advertisement can trigger impulsive buying for some
people
 as it continuously persuades
people
 to have unnecessary necessities.
Furthermore
, improper placement of
advertisements
 in public places with big boards or big LCD
display
Fix the agreement mistake
displays
show examples
 may cause inconvenience for highway users because of the distraction it causes.
Therefore
, the dissenting voices of some
people
 upon the advertising can be added into account.
On the contrary
, the stated view above may not be in line with the list of advantages that advertising brings to certain
people
. To start, it has been known for years that advertisement is a possible game changer for its playground; the business world. With advertising skills, marketing varies as services and products market are competing to have exposure as many as possible. That being said, business owners from small enterprises to big corporations are relying on
advertisements
 to sell services or products to the public.
Therefore
, as long as there is no alternative to reach wider prospects available, it can be said that advertisement will always remain as sole choice. To summarize,
although
 some
people
 dislike the presence of advertising because of soft-selling and the discomfort it creates in public, I still argue that advertising is effective as a medium to portray services and products.
Therefore
, there should be strict regulation in bridging the display of
advertisements
 in the public’s
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
.
Submitted by imsarunn on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure throughout. While some parts are well organized, other parts could be improved for better flow and clarity. Consider linking your ideas more effectively with suitable cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
You did well in including both introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your opinion, which is essential in IELTS Task 2 writing. This shows a good grasp of essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. The examples provided were somewhat generic and lacked detail. The inclusion of more specific examples could enhance the argument and demonstrate a deeper level of understanding.
task achievement
You have offered a complete response to the task, with a clear position throughout the essay. However, you could enhance your essay by expanding on the points provided and offering a more detailed analysis.
task achievement
Your ideas were clear and sufficiently comprehensive, reflecting a good understanding of the essay topic. To improve further, consider developing your arguments more fully with additional insights.
task achievement
To score higher, incorporate more relevant, real-world examples into your essay. This will demonstrate a stronger command of the topic and the ability to think critically about real-life implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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