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Band 7

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this?

#countries #people #history #house
Nowadays, in some countries, society is getting more curious about their accommodation's history.
This
 essay will analyze the reasons for
this
 interest
as well as
 the ways that people can look for the previous stories of their mansion.
To begin
 with, there are loads of ways to have a dwelling, some people live in their ancestors' houses, some build a new home, and some individuals just rent or buy others' accommodation.
This
 essay will discuss the first and the
last
 one.
Initially
, showing interest in knowing about the residence including many stories of your family could be fascinating.
Moreover
, moving to a new building causes some concerns about the reason for availability,
for example
, sometimes the building might have a problem with plumbing, or have some architectural issues.
On the other hand
, it could be difficult to find
this
 information,
however
, folk can search for old ones in their family and ask them about their history,
furthermore
, some individuals keep documents of their ancestors,
besides
, old neighbours usually have good data about past days.
Additionally
, the second group can ask for help from their neighbours too,
also
 they may have the chance to find a contact of the previous people who used to live in the building. In conclusion, there could be many reasons for folk to want to know about the building that they live in,
such
 as interesting stories about previous accommodations and some issues with the house.
Thus
 they can gain information by asking other persons
such
 as their neighbours or their relatives.
Submitted by Farzaneh Ka on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay did not provide a deep analysis of the reasons people might want to know the history of their house or a variety of reasons and examples.
coherence cohesion
It is important to organize your essay well, with clear unification of ideas. While the essay has a basic structure, more could be done to improve coherence, particularly through the use of cohesive devices that make the text flow smoother.
coherence cohesion
Include a variety of linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. The essay utilises some linking devices, but greater variety and precision in their use would strengthen the overall cohesion.
task achievement
Develop main points with more specific examples and details to strengthen the argumentation. The essay offers some general ideas but lacks specific, concrete examples that underpin the reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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