Some people think that the best way to ensure road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorcycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The general introduction Talk about 1 and 2 graphs. Describe what we were provided. The
first
and
second
figures show information about the number of men and women attending various evening
courses
at an adult education Centre in the year 2009.The
first
figure
shows which evening
courses
were more popular. The
second
figure
illustrates information about which
aged
Replace the word
ages
show examples
visited these
courses
. The
first
figure
shows information about which evening
courses
were more popular in
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
Centre.
On the
Change preposition
The
show examples
graph has drama, painting , sculpture and
language
courses
.The most popular
course
is
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
course
, on
this
courses
Fix the agreement mistake
course
show examples
went
Verb problem
there were
show examples
40
woman
Change to a plural noun
women
show examples
and 20
man
Change to a plural noun
men
show examples
.The painting
course
had
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
show examples
number of
people
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25 than the
language
course
(60 adults).The worst club was sculpture . There went the least
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of
people
. Interestingly,
this
evening club
visited
Add a missing verb
was visited
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
2 more
man
Change to a plural noun
men
show examples
than
Add an article
a woman
the woman
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
(5
woman
Change to a plural noun
women
show examples
). The The
second
figure
demonstrates
aged
Correct article usage
the aged
show examples
visited these
courses
. The most popular age is under 20 (42%).Adults who
40
Add a missing verb
are 40
show examples
- 49 years almost similar
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
who
30
Add a missing verb
are 30
show examples
-39 and 20 - 29 years
(11
Correct word choice
old (11
show examples
% , 16%)The smallest age in the evening
course
is
aged
Verb problem
apply
show examples
under 20 only 5 percent visited
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
courses
in 2009. In conclusion ,the two diagrams above show how many
people
attended evening
courses
in 2009.The
first
figure
illustrates
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
visited more than
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
.The
second
figure
shows the most popular age
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
50 or more .Interestingly , old
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
prefer
spend
Add the particle
to spend
show examples
in evening clubs and teenagers
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not like evening
courses
. Describing two figures , and we can say sculpture like
old
Add an article
an old
the old
show examples
man
and the
favorites
Change the spelling
favourites
show examples
woman
club is
language
Submitted by dulskywork on

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task achievement
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement which presents an argument or the writer's position on the topic. Ensure that the introduction establishes the purpose of the essay by stating your viewpoint on the given issue.
task achievement
Main points need clearer development and more elaboration. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by detailed evidence or examples. Avoid listing information without explanation.
task achievement
The conclusion requires a summary of the main points made in the essay, relating back to the original question. It should clearly state your final position on the issue, without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and smooth transitions between paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic that is developed, rather than abruptly switching between different ideas.
coherence cohesion
Establish coherence by using a range of linking devices appropriately. Use connectors to show the relationship between ideas, not just within a sentence but also across different sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and vary your sentence structures. Avoid awkward phrasing, run-on sentences or fragments that can disrupt the flow of your writing and make your argument difficult to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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