IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Today, there are a lot of media to read
such
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 as
newspapers
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, magazines,
books
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, and the
internet
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. Pricing is depending on the platform itself. In the modern world,
people
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 can get information freely because of open platforms like the
Internet
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. I disagree with
this
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 statement because the media based on the
internet
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 itself is not free for being used by
people
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.
Firstly
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, printed
newspapers
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 or
books
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 will not disappear in the following years. The oldest usually harder to change their habits when they are reading something. They like to read hardcopy
such
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 as
newspapers
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 and
books
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 because of the physical aspects.
For example
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, there are a lot of shops which still sell printed information.
Then
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, there are a huge amount of the oldest or old-school
people
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 who are buying those printed
newspapers
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. In the end, printed
newspapers
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 are still needed by
people
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 until the next decades.
Secondly
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, online
newspapers
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 have limited access to look for all the contents.
However
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,
people
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 cannot read everything because of the subscription aspects.
Then
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, the platform usually gives only general information
such
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 as politics, weather forecasts, and entertainment. If
people
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 want to read sports or sciences, they must pay a couple of dollars.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 not only pay for the subscriptions but
also
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 pay for the
internet
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 itself.
People
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 should buy
internet
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 packages or wireless
internet
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 service providers to get access to the
internet
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. To summarize, I think that
people
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 still pay much more money to read online platforms
such
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 as online
newspapers
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,
books
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, and magazines. They must buy subscriptions to read restricted content.

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task achievement
Although the essay presents a clear position throughout, it requires a more nuanced exploration of the topic, addressing potential counter-arguments and a broader range of perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Work on constructing a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the essay's direction, including a thesis statement that previews the main points to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Improve the conclusion so that it effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and restates the writer's position, providing a definitive stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by linking ideas more smoothly and maintaining topic consistency in each paragraph.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed with a well-developed response that includes a variety of ideas and examples.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to add sophistication and prevent repetitiveness.
task achievement
Always provide specific examples to support each point made, ensuring they are directly relevant to the topic at hand and contribute meaningfully to the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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