The Impact of Technology on Education: Is it More Beneficial or Detrimental?

Embracing the 21st century, the proliferation of technological advancements not only equips diverse employers with the tools for remote operations but
also
facilitates e-learning for the younger generation. From my perspective, global citizens are reaping the benefits of these progressive technologies.
To begin
, technological utilization has proven crucial in mitigating the transmission risk of infectious diseases. The absence of physical interaction and direct communication considerably reduces exposure to potential health hazards.
For instance
, amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, Vietnamese authorities implemented an online education policy for all levels of schooling in an attempt to curtail the virus's spread.
This
digital transformation compelled students to engage with platforms
such
as Google Meet or Zoom, exposing them to varied pedagogical methods and multimedia learning.
Consequently
, the infection rate amongst Vietnamese adolescents in 2021 was significantly lower in comparison to the older demographic,
while
academic performance remained consistent.
Furthermore
, the advent of remote working, facilitated by intelligent technologies, offers a viable solution for workers seeking to economize on transportation expenses. Given the finite nature of fossil fuels and escalating fuel taxes, working from home presents a cost-effective alternative.
For instance
, the global population grappled with soaring gas and fuel prices in March 2022, triggered by the Ukraine-Russia conflict.
Hence
, IT professionals and remote workers were at an advantage, circumventing the need for daily
commute
Fix the agreement mistake
commutes
show examples
.
Additionally
, with the surge in technological and internet accessibility, restaurant patrons can place online orders catering to their preferences.
This
serves a dual purpose— customers' needs are satisfied, and business owners accrue profits from delivery charges. In conclusion, technological innovation endows humanity with a plethora of advantages, including safeguarding against infectious diseases and promoting economical transportation alternatives.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
Consider reorganizing your essay with clearer logical progression between ideas. Use linking words effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be clearer in encapsulating the main points and tying the essay together. Rework these for a more impactful opening and closing.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your main points by expanding on how technology affects education specifically, rather than diverging to topics such as remote work and online ordering in restaurants.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task prompt, which includes discussing both beneficial and detrimental impacts of technology on education. Your response is incomplete as it focuses only on the positives.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear but could be more comprehensive by including a discussion of possible drawbacks of technology in education to provide a balanced view.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but tend to veer away from the central topic of education. Include more specific education-related examples to strengthen your arguments.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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