Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There has been a discussion about whether
women
should be treated equally like men
in military jobs
. The writer argues that they should have equal rights due to
the support for men
's weakness and gender equality despite those who believe that women
are not strong enough.
It must be understood that women
will make up for the area that men
lack. In other words
, the jobs
of law enforcement and the military consist of various types of departments such
as giving advice or medical. Although
men
can do that work, it is still more effective when having the help of women
since now they can reduce the workload and focus the men
on more physical jobs
while
women
are more empathetic and careful can handle aforementioned jobs
.
However
, some people believe that the shortage of physical abilities makes women
less suitable for the roles of law enforcement and military jobs
. Simply put, women
were born naturally weaker than men
while
such
types of jobs
require a lot of strength and endurance to work for long hours so most women
cannot catch up with these jobs
. This
may be true but by taking part in training programs, women
now are qualified for the jobs
and can do them as well as
men
.
This
is the writer's opinion that women
should have the same opportunities as men
because of the principle of equal rights. That is
to say, in modern societies that value equality and non-discrimination, denying the women
right to pursue careers in these fields is seen as unjust and outdated since women
have proven their capabilities in various roles traditionally dominated by men
, demonstrating that they can perform equally well. For example
, a Russian woman called Mariya drove a tank in World War II and was promoted to the rank of sergeant.
In conclusion, although
it is undeniable that women
are weaker than men
, people should give women
an equal chance because they support men
with their weaknesses and due to
equality rights.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are well-supported with specific examples, not just one example towards the end.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs and within them to make the essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The introduction could provide a bit more background or context for the discussion. It currently dives straight into the points.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear opinion and addresses both views of the topic effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points and provides a clear stance, which strengthens the overall argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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