Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The development of buying books, tickets, and groceries has become popular because now everybody has access to the net.

Although

Linking Words

there are several debates and discussions of the benefits and drawbacks of online shopping, I believe the advantages would still outweigh the disadvantages. There are two main negative

effects

Use synonyms

of online shopping. The first problem is our identities could be compromised.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Many websites do not have multiple protection against viruses and hackers,

this

Linking Words

could lead to fatal damages if our name and bank account are spread by someone irresponsible.

For instance

Linking Words

, many sites prefer transactions with credit cards. Even though credit cards have multiple security steps, it is still vulnerable to attacks.

Besides

Linking Words

a personal information issue, there is one more concern which is it could create bad habits. We would like to buy

things

Use synonyms

we do not actually need.

For instance

Linking Words

, we feel must have a new phone though our phone is still doing great. These are two bad

effects

Use synonyms

of buying

things

Use synonyms

online.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are many positive

effects

Use synonyms

of online shopping. The greatest one is we could act quicker than before.

This

Linking Words

possibly happens because the system is going 24 hours. For illustration, we could get a book we urgently need in the early morning and the package will arrive on the same day.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Another pro of shopping online is many groceries are cheaper with online methods rather than offline.

This

Linking Words

situation results because the supplier does not need to pay the rent. For the sample case, the vegetable supplier could sell their goods from home so they can lower the price. These are two good

effects

Use synonyms

of selling

things

Use synonyms

online. In conclusion, there are many good and bad aspects of shopping

things

Use synonyms

online.

However

Linking Words

, I still remain constant with my stand that online transactions will give more benefits than its drawbacks.

Submitted by aulia.abdillah.ramadhan on Wed Nov 29 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the examples used should directly support that main idea. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.

task achievement

When addressing the task, it's important to present a balanced discussion that covers both advantages and disadvantages fully. Make sure that your examples are directly relevant and illustrate the points you're making clearly. The response needs to extend and support points more thoroughly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary education, many secondary schools put community service as part of the compulsary activites in their curricula. It is perceived that enganging in community service will give positive impacts to students. The same goes for me, I believe that being involved in voluntary works will train the empathy of the students to contribute to their surroundings, as well as help them to channel their passion and actualize their dreams.
<4
band
«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The goverment's way of spending on artist's support has aroused among various groups. The issue is perhaps in question by people, I disagree with this idea that reaching a decision to this partial situation.
7
band
Some people believe that the best way to control accidents on city streets is to lower the speed limit but others think there are more important issues that need attention before roads can be safe. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people argue that reducing the speed limit of vehicles on the roads is the best way to prevent accidents in cities, while others say that there are other significant issues which need to be prioritized. while setting the speed limit contributes to safety on the road, I believe that the government should address the immediate needs of the community such as healthcare and free education. This essay will discuss both views and my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
4
band
Shopping is the favorite free time activity for many young people today. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time rather than shopping? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
These days, shopping is quite popular among the younger generation. As a result, these days, youngster's favourite spare time activity is shopping because they are being the shopaholic. The teens should learn new skill in their free time instead of doing shopping. This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
5.5
band
People spend too much money on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. What is the importance of these celebrations? Do you think people really spend too much?
In the present day, people spend a lot of money on celebrations and value it as an important part of life and tend to spend a lot of money on these kinds of events. This essay will discuss the importance of these events in terms of how cultures and religions play a significant role in our society and agrees that people should not spend too much money on celebrations.

Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the best way to control accidents on city streets is to lower the speed limit but others think there are more important issues that need attention before roads can be safe. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People spend too much money on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. What is the importance of these celebrations? Do you think people really spend too much?