Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

The development of buying books, tickets, and groceries has become popular because now everybody has access to the net.
Although
there are several debates and discussions of the benefits and drawbacks of online shopping, I believe the advantages would still outweigh the disadvantages. There are two main negative
effects
of online shopping. The first problem is our identities could be compromised.
Moreover
, Many websites do not have multiple protection against viruses and hackers,
this
could lead to fatal damages if our name and bank account are spread by someone irresponsible.
For instance
, many sites prefer transactions with credit cards. Even though credit cards have multiple security steps, it is still vulnerable to attacks.
Besides
a personal information issue, there is one more concern which is it could create bad habits. We would like to buy
things
we do not actually need.
For instance
, we feel must have a new phone though our phone is still doing great. These are two bad
effects
of buying
things
online.
On the other hand
, there are many positive
effects
of online shopping. The greatest one is we could act quicker than before.
This
possibly happens because the system is going 24 hours. For illustration, we could get a book we urgently need in the early morning and the package will arrive on the same day.
Furthermore
, Another pro of shopping online is many groceries are cheaper with online methods rather than offline.
This
situation results because the supplier does not need to pay the rent. For the sample case, the vegetable supplier could sell their goods from home so they can lower the price. These are two good
effects
of selling
things
online. In conclusion, there are many good and bad aspects of shopping
things
online.
However
, I still remain constant with my stand that online transactions will give more benefits than its drawbacks.
Submitted by aulia.abdillah.ramadhan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the examples used should directly support that main idea. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
task achievement
When addressing the task, it's important to present a balanced discussion that covers both advantages and disadvantages fully. Make sure that your examples are directly relevant and illustrate the points you're making clearly. The response needs to extend and support points more thoroughly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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