Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that the human population has increased over the years in the ways through which we take up the land that was once called house of the wild
animals
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. It is thought that people should spend a large amount of budget and human resources on taking care of wild
animals
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,
while
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the opposing point of view would be using
money
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to serve human life. The latter view is reasonable, which means that I disagree with the former one. On the one hand, wild
animals
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bring advantages and disadvantages. For one thing, they are among the most prevalent subjects spreading severe contagions. Now that in the natural environments, there is no doubt that wild fauna’s physical conditions can be affected greatly during the mating process, food chains, or parasites, which is incredibly dangerous if
humans
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come into connect with them. For illustration, the COVID-19 pandemic originated from bats in the WuHan area in China and caused damage to
humans
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,
consequently
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, forming the disease spreading among the persons.
By contrast
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, wild
animals
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grow up with significant ecosystem diversity, which offers potential remedies to treat human diseases. A perfectly good demonstration
that is
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worth noticing is that snake venom can help individuals resist poison when bitten, which is prepared into drugs to reduce blood pressure.
On the other hand
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, investing in human life is an urgent thing.
For instance
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, we need to spend a huge amount of
money
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and
time
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to increase education. In some areas in Africa, children are not going to school as they have no subsidy
money
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, and the lack of food sources, freshwater, and infrastructure results in many evils in Africa affecting world peace. As for
such
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a purpose of pedagogical/educational aspects, in developed nations, applying social media for advertising showcasing the living conditions of these wild
animals
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could be regarded as a remarkable solution to the problems of people’s poor awareness of preserving wilderness. Another essential point to consider is that
humans
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are high-level
animals
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that are more affluent than other species, so the focus on monetary and
time
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issues is suggested to be put on
humans
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in advance. In brief, if
humans
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have inventions that serve their lives, they will afterwards return to animal protection. Of course, the higher possibility of every scientific outcome always requires more radical methods with expensive high-tech aids that will surely cost more
time
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. In conclusion, wild animal protection is needed in the natural ecosystem;
however
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, investment for
humans
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remains more crucial. Since the growth of the human population cannot be stopped, governments,
as well as
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individuals, should be well aware of doing something about how much
time
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and
money
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can be invested
according to
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such
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particularly current circumstances.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your logical structure, strive to connect your ideas more clearly. Transition words can be used more effectively to create a smoother flow from one thought to another.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which is good practice. Ensure that your introduction clearly states your thesis and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While you have attempted to support your main points, the arguments sometimes appear to lack depth. Exploring your ideas further and providing more detailed explanations will strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, it is important that you ensure a full response to the question asked. Consider all parts of the task and address them fully to improve your score in this area.
task achievement
Work on clarifying and expanding your ideas to make them more comprehensive. In places, your essay would benefit from further explanation to make your viewpoint clearer to the reader.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, which is commendable. Continue to use specific examples to support your claims, as this adds strength to your argument and aids in task achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem stability
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • climate regulation
  • eco-tourism
  • scientific research
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • financial cost
  • social issues
  • healthcare
  • education
  • fund allocation
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