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Writing Samples
Band 6

The quality of health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance.The government is responsible for providing a high level of health care for all its citizens.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#quality #health #care #person #size #bank #balance #government #level #citizens
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Nowadays, a public facility like looking after a person's well-being is dependent on their salary and not on the basis of any emergency. Quality healthcare is a fundamental requirement for all taxpayers in a state irrespective of their social or economic
statuses
Fix the agreement mistake
status
show examples
.
According to
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 many, local authorities should take
this
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 responsibility. To start with, the primary responsibility of the government is to provide basic amenities needed by its citizenry.
For example
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, to monitor the health of their food supply.
Moreover
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, each authority has a duty to make sure some basic requirements for its citizens and healthcare is among the essential facets that an executive ought to take care of.
This
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 condition can cause disagreements between the rich and the poor.
Thus
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, the rich can create a
nation
Use synonyms
 that will enjoy all the amenities, and the poor will be deprived of them in all respects.
Furthermore
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, in
this
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 modern age, the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nations, especially democratic nations, possess a government choice model where folks choose who would rule the
nation
Use synonyms
. Every
nation
Use synonyms
 has the right to vote.
In addition
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,each of the citizens in a
nation
Use synonyms
 is equivalent to the constitution and law as well and the facilities they’re expected to receive from the
nation
Use synonyms
 do not have any way to differ. Even if she is a woman or a man rich or poor they have no difference.
To sum up
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, the regime can make a vast change to its
nation
Use synonyms
's life and productivity by establishing a law which will reinforce equal health care treatment for everyone. it is considered the responsibility of the administration to provide quality medical centres for all citizens of the country. It is necessary to keep their health under control, regardless of their salary.
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are organized in a logical manner, with a clear progression from introduction through supporting paragraphs to the conclusion. Use topic sentences to guide the reader and provide clear connections between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are essential for framing the overall essay. They should clearly express the main point of view and tie up the overall argument. Work to make your introduction and conclusion more impacting by reinstating your stance and summarizing key points succinctly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. While some general points are made, providing more specific illustrations could strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Respond fully to all parts of the task. Your essay should engage with the prompt explicitly, addressing all its components and reflecting a clear position throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Ideas should be expressed clearly and developed comprehensively. Aim to expand upon your ideas further and provide more depth to the points made, ensuring clarity and a comprehensive understanding of the topic for the reader.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples that directly support your position. While some general ideas are presented, tying them to concrete examples and evidence would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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