Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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Nowadays, using unethical practices in advertising is an arguable debate subject, and some
people
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believe that they are unacceptable in our society. I firmly opine that several
advertisements
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are used to manipulate
people
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into buying new
products
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, and they should be regulated to a certain extent to curb issues. The first and foremost argument is that
advertisements
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have a pivotal role in elevating the rate of consumerism in today's world. Most adverts contain
products
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that we do not need to have and they are gimmick. Creating artificial wants exemplifies the negative side of advertising in
this
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context.
Moreover
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, they use variations
such
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as using glamorous and famous
people
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on their brands to trick
people
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, which is completely unacceptable. To cite an example, Nike and Adidas use globally renowned sportsmen to attract the attention of their fans to increase sales percentages. Another concern is that
advertisements
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, occasionally, are targeted at
children
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who can not differentiate between real and commercial things on TV. Using toys and other items which are impressive for
children
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is a well-known phenomenon that should be banned.
Children
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might not understand the illusion about
products
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on the TV since they do not have critical thinking abilities.
For instance
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, several countries have already banned these types of adverts
due to
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their detrimental effects on
children
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and adolescents.
To conclude
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, despite concerns that
people
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believe
advertisements
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are beneficial to informed about real bargains, more than 60 per cent of them contain deceptive information to persuade
people
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to afford
products
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, and it is unavoidable to acknowledge that having authorization over them is substantial.
Submitted by yusifakhmad on

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coherence cohesion
You provided an adequate introduction and conclusion, which is good practice. However, the introductory paragraph could be improved by clearly stating your main points that will be discussed throughout the essay. This helps to anticipate the structure of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's logical structure is satisfactory, but there's a noticeable lack of clear transition phrases linking ideas and paragraphs. To improve, consider adding phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to,' or 'On the other hand,' to enhance the flow of information.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported to an extent but could be strengthened by further elaboration and deeper analysis. Rather than just stating arguments, explain why these arguments hold weight and the impact they have.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task partially, but it tends to be opinion-heavy without enough focus on addressing the full spectrum of the prompt. Include a more balanced view by acknowledging counterarguments or different perspectives on the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim to develop your points fully with more precision in your language use. Choosing simpler, more direct language can be more effective than complex terminology that may not convey your points clearly.
task achievement
While you included examples, like the use of celebrities in advertisements, these could be more specific and detailed. Always link back to how your examples support your overall argument and consider including statistics or real case studies for a stronger impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unethical
  • Unacceptable
  • Deceptive
  • Exaggerated
  • Misleading
  • Manipulation
  • Vulnerable
  • Targeted advertising
  • Perpetuation
  • Societal norms
  • Stereotypes
  • Negative body image
  • Intrusion of privacy
  • Data-driven
  • Over-saturation
  • Desensitization
  • Annoyance
  • Greenwashing
  • Eco-conscious
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