Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Nowadays, using unethical practices in advertising is an arguable debate subject, and some
people
believe that they are unacceptable in our society. I firmly opine that several advertisements
are used to manipulate people
into buying new products
, and they should be regulated to a certain extent to curb issues.
The first and foremost argument is that advertisements
have a pivotal role in elevating the rate of consumerism in today's world. Most adverts contain products
that we do not need to have and they are gimmick. Creating artificial wants exemplifies the negative side of advertising in this
context.
Moreover
, they use variations such
as using glamorous and famous people
on their brands to trick people
, which is completely unacceptable. To cite an example, Nike and Adidas use globally renowned sportsmen to attract the attention of their fans to increase sales percentages.
Another concern is that advertisements
, occasionally, are targeted at children
who can not differentiate between real and commercial things on TV. Using toys and other items which are impressive for children
is a well-known phenomenon that should be banned. Children
might not understand the illusion about products
on the TV since they do not have critical thinking abilities. For instance
, several countries have already banned these types of adverts due to
their detrimental effects on children
and adolescents.
To conclude
, despite concerns that people
believe advertisements
are beneficial to informed about real bargains, more than 60 per cent of them contain deceptive information to persuade people
to afford products
, and it is unavoidable to acknowledge that having authorization over them is substantial.Submitted by yusifakhmad on
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coherence cohesion
You provided an adequate introduction and conclusion, which is good practice. However, the introductory paragraph could be improved by clearly stating your main points that will be discussed throughout the essay. This helps to anticipate the structure of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's logical structure is satisfactory, but there's a noticeable lack of clear transition phrases linking ideas and paragraphs. To improve, consider adding phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to,' or 'On the other hand,' to enhance the flow of information.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported to an extent but could be strengthened by further elaboration and deeper analysis. Rather than just stating arguments, explain why these arguments hold weight and the impact they have.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task partially, but it tends to be opinion-heavy without enough focus on addressing the full spectrum of the prompt. Include a more balanced view by acknowledging counterarguments or different perspectives on the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim to develop your points fully with more precision in your language use. Choosing simpler, more direct language can be more effective than complex terminology that may not convey your points clearly.
task achievement
While you included examples, like the use of celebrities in advertisements, these could be more specific and detailed. Always link back to how your examples support your overall argument and consider including statistics or real case studies for a stronger impact.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.