In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, the number of

crimes

Use synonyms

is still increasing and the percentage of

teenagers

Use synonyms

who are involved is

also

Linking Words

rising. Certain

people

Use synonyms

think that

Use synonyms

teenagers

Replace the word

teenage

show examples

criminals who commit heavy

crimes

Use synonyms

should be sent to

jailalong

Correct your spelling

jail along

with

adult

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

and receive the same punishment.

This

Linking Words

essay will shed light on

this

Linking Words

situation and put forward my opinion that I keep neutral views about

this

Linking Words

statement. There are several reasons why some

people

Use synonyms

think that

people

Use synonyms

should send

teenagers

Use synonyms

jail

Use synonyms

and enjoy the same treatment as adults.

Firstly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

law

Use synonyms

can ensure community safety, if some

teenagers

Use synonyms

make the mistake of breaking the

law

Use synonyms

, and can warn other

people

Use synonyms

who want to commit major

crimes

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

some popular humanity projects when those

people

Use synonyms

get involved in some heavy

Use synonyms

crimes

Add a comma

crimes,

show examples

it is because they keep away from school education and their parents teach for

along

Correct your spelling

a long

show examples

time, they come into contact with some bad

people

Use synonyms

when they are too young to realise which will cause them to mature too early and

then

Linking Words

they will end up in

jail

Use synonyms

repeatedly.

For instance

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

need to survive but they don’t have any jobs or

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

to support them,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

only steal other

people

Use synonyms

's valuable stuff,

also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue can cause

people

Use synonyms

to hurt others or cause social instability,

this

Linking Words

is not something that normal

teenagers

Use synonyms

can usually do.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, solving any problem should consider each point and not be extremes,

this

Linking Words

situation is no different.

For example

Linking Words

, some

teenagers

Use synonyms

are only breaking the

law

Use synonyms

for the first time, they have just left home and school, if they are sent to the

adult

Use synonyms

jail

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

place only has manual

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

and the criminals

also

Linking Words

can affect young

people

Use synonyms

's minds. When they end the time, they will continue to make mistakes. There are some projects that if the government gives young

people

Use synonyms

some mental intervention and sends them to the

teenager’s

Change noun form

teenager

show examples

jail

Use synonyms

, rather than an

adult

Use synonyms

jail

Use synonyms

, when they first break the

law

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

situation can effectively make

teenagers

Use synonyms

not make mistakes. In conclusion, though I agree

with

Change preposition

that

show examples

sending

teenagers

Use synonyms

adult

Use synonyms

jail

Use synonyms

receive

Correct subject-verb agreement

receives

show examples

the same punishments, I

also

Linking Words

think when young

people

Use synonyms

break the

law

Use synonyms

, the court cannot first think about sending them to

jail

Use synonyms

, they should observe whether those

people

Use synonyms

can correct their mistakes.

ur790609922Wed Nov 29 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

You maintained a discussion regarding both views, which is positive. However, your position is not clearly stated. A clear opinion must be presented, especially when the question directly asks for the extent of your agreement.

task response

Ensure your essay presents a balanced view but also highlights your own stance more emphatically to fulfill task requirements.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. Make sure every paragraph has a clear central idea, ideally in the first or second sentence.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the logical flow of ideas. Some sentences appear disjointed due to awkward phrasing.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. This strengthens the argument and aids in achieving a higher score for task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

385 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

juvenile delinquency
criminal behavior
rehabilitation
recidivism
adolescent development
retribution
impulse control
the justice system
societal influences
environmental factors
juvenile justice
punitive measures
adult incarceration
youth crime
reformative programs
deterrence
mitigating circumstances
restorative justice
correctional facilities
peer pressure

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, according to the cities development, many people tend to immigrate from suburban. Therefore, the population of suburbs and villages has fallen. From my perspective, I believe this should be seen as a negative trend since this phenomenon has several drawbacks that outweigh its merits.
7
band
Many people join distance-learning program and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, online learning programs and study at home have increasingly become popular amongst pupils of all ages. This has made the students' lives much easier. However, like everything else, there are two sides to the picture. I partially disagree with distance learning instead of on-site learning. In this essay, I will give my reasons and also how it might be beneficial to some.
8.5
band
You would like to take some time off of work to attend a training course. Write a letter to your supervisor asking for permission to attend the course. In this letter, Describe the training course Say how it will help improve your job performance. Explain how much time you need off and ask for permission.
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request your permission to attend a training course that I believe will greatly benefit my professional growth and my contribution to our team’s success.
7.5
band
The restoration of old building in major cities in the world costs enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued, that the government should use money to contrast new infrastructures and housing societies instead of expending this money to restore the old buildings in the cities.In this essay, I will discuss both aspects as well as my opinion regarding this is that money should be used for the development of new houses and roads.
5.5
band
Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages without these skills? And What actions should governments take?
It appears that nowadays in spite of the growth in access to education, a great number of citizens are still unable to read or write. In this essay, drawbacks of this issue and actions to address it will be discussed in detail.

In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many people join distance-learning program and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?

The restoration of old building in major cities in the world costs enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages without these skills? And What actions should governments take?