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Band 7

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #team #sports #school
The most effective method to teach a child cooperation is through
sports
 in their learning institution. I strongly agree with
this
 idea because they are opportune to work with different personalities to achieve a specific goal,
as well as
 learn conflict resolution skills.
To begin
 with, they are actively working to accomplish a task. In games like football
along with
 basketball, each team is composed of more than four players, they each have separate opinions, personalities, and skills
while
 wanting to play the game how each of them best fit.
However
, when
this
 happens the outcome is often disastrous,
for
this
 reason, there has to be a plan, and all teammates stick to following it during the game, only
then
 will they be able to succeed.
For instance
, when a team of footballers was asked how they had been able to win a majority of their games, they all mentioned the same thing, teamwork!
Hence
, portraying the importance of
sports
 in fostering cooperation.
Furthermore
,
sports
 play a role in advocating for conflict resolution. With everyone having different ideas together, they are bound to arguments.
Nevertheless
, these types of situations are able to teach them skills on how to handle misunderstandings effectively. To illustrate, at a younger age, I was part of a
sports
 team where the coach tutored us on how to handle disagreements.
Moreover
, when an issue arose, we were able to practicalize
this
 which led to quick resolution of any quarrel.
This
 supports the notion that
sports
 is an effective method of teaching children cooperation. To sum it up,
this
 essay has discussed the importance of physical education in teaching children how to cooperate
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 working
together with
 different people to reach one goal and learning how to resolve conflict.
Submitted by suleezekielo on

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task achievement
While your essay maintains a clear position throughout in agreement with the statement, it tends to provide general support rather than delving deeply into the topic. You need to fully develop your ideas to extend and support your argument using a wider range of structures. Consider elaborating on points with detailed examples and explanations for a richer response.
coherence cohesion
You have displayed a cohesive structure with clear progression between ideas, but there is room for improvement in terms of sentence and paragraph linking. Aim to vary your linking words and phrases to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument. Also, work on unifying your ideas within paragraphs around a central theme for enhanced coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
What to do next:
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