In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Governments regulate multiple activities for a society to function in harmony. Some individuals contend that the practice of a select few earning significantly larger paychecks is beneficial for the nation.
However
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, critics against
this
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argue that salaries should be regulated by the government and strict laws should be enforced to restrict the money an individual can make.
This
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essay will highlight both perspectives and argue why, in my opinion, governments should not interfere by controlling incomes. I believe
this
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deters
people
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from working hard. 
To begin
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with, authorities restraining high salaries results in equal distribution of wealth among all citizens.
This
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promotes peace among societies, as most
people
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earn enough income to purchase the goods required for survival, resulting in a significant drop in crimes.
For instance
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, in communist states like North Korea, all
people
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are paid equally despite their educational qualifications.
As a result
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, the proportion of
people
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who commit crimes here is merely 1%. 
This
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seems to demonstrate that similar compensation in a society can effectively mitigate high crime rates. 
However
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,
such
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stringent regulation can impede
people
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who put in large amounts of effort into their careers. If these
people
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are not adequately compensated, they will lose their motivation to aim high.
Consequently
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, jobs that require advanced training courses
as well as
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hectic working hours will not be filled,
due to
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unfair compensation. To illustrate, medical professionals often work more than 100 hours per week. If they are provided with the same salary as a teacher, who works half days and enjoys three months of summer vacation, they will quit their jobs.
This
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will be detrimental to the country’s healthcare infrastructure.
Thus
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, I firmly contend that
such
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laws are more disadvantageous for a nation.  In conclusion, I reiterate that distributing the money equitably among all
people
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, irrespective of the job qualifications required and working conditions is wrong.
People
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should be allowed to earn high incomes based on their education and how much effort they are willing to put into their careers.

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task achievement
While the essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, it could benefit from a more balanced discussion. Ensure equal emphasis on both sides of the argument to achieve a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence by using clearer transitions between points. Signposting language would make the essay more readable and logically structured.
task achievement
While examples are relevant, providing a wider range of examples from different contexts could strengthen the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is well-structured, presenting the topic and giving a clear opinion.
supported main points
The essay effectively uses examples to support the arguments presented.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main points are clear and directly address the task prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
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