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Band 6.5

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cooperation
In the process of learning
history
, some curricula need to be included to confirm that the
students
 gain expertise. The argument is divided into two perspectives, whether the importance of local
history
 or world
history
. In my opinion, both of them have the same merits, and
this
 essay will explain them in detail based on experience. Learning local
history
 leads the
students
 to know about the best practices used by their founders to rule the nations with the state systems and become developed countries. The
students
 need to see
this
 subject because, in the future, every nation will face some uncertainty problems where the decisions created by their founders could be considered to solve those problems in the future problem.
For example
, in Indonesia, the state systems have changed from the colonialization era to the new order era. At present, Indonesia has a stable system and is a democratic nation.
Therefore
, learning
history
 is really important for
students
 because they will be decision-makers for their countries.
On the other hand
, learning international
history
also
 significantly impacts
students
 in the middle of the globalization era. The student will know that some nations create bilateral or multilateral agreements with other countries because there is only a nation that can stand up to be a developed
country
 with support from other nations in terms of exchanging knowledge in economy, technology, education, health, etc, In conclusion, the statement to learn local and world
history
 is essential.
While
 the knowledge to rule the
country
 by the policy will be taken from
this
 subject, the experience of why the
country
 becomes a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
developed
country
 needs
needs
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
to be known by the student to increase ability as a decision-maker in the middle of globalization.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clear structure and progression throughout the essay. Use a variety of linking words and organize paragraphs effectively.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task prompt, ensuring a clear opinion is stated and fully developed throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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