write an IELTS essay within at least 250 words with the topic "There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?"
Nowadays, it is easy to find a wide variety of musical styles in any part of the world.
Music
plays a vital role in human cultures for a number of reasons, and personally
I would argue that traditional Add a comma
personally,
music
is more important than modern, international music
.
Music
has become an essence of human life
, which accompanies all of us throughout our stages of development. As children, we were taught songs by our parents and teachers as a means of learning language, or simply as a form of amusement. Children delight in singing with others, and it would appear that the act of chanting in a choir can create a connection between participants. Later in life
, our musical preferences might change over time, and we come to see our favorite
songs as part of our Change the spelling
favourite
life
stories. Indeed, teenagers prefer listening to vibrant music
like EDM, pop or rock while
middle-aged and the elderly tend to immerse themselves in folk music
, classical music
or bolero. In short, it is difficult to imagine life
without the presence of music
.
In my opinion, traditional music
should be valued over the international music
that has become so popular. Although
international music
is often catchy and fun, it is fundamentally a commercial product and only exists in a short time span. Traditional music
, by contrast
, expresses the culture, customs and history of a country or a group of people. For instance
, unlike meaningless lyrics of international music
, “Quan Ho Bac Ninh” folk songs reflect Vietnamese cultural identity, especially of Northern people when couples want to express their love. It would be a real pity if modern music
became so predominant that these types of conventional music
disappeared.
In conclusion, music
is an indispensable part of human existence no matter what your age is because of the aforementioned benefits and I believe that traditional music
should be given more importance than international music
.Submitted by namnguyen3092 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve, consider developing your arguments further by expanding on each point and creating smoother transitions between them.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully introduced and concluded your essay and the main points are generally supported within paragraphs. Improve by including a broad range of cohesive devices and ensuring paragraphs flow naturally into one another.
task achievement
While addressing the prompt, ensure that examples are pertinent and that they support the main point of each paragraph effectively. Concentrate on expanding upon these examples to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the question posed.
task achievement
You have expressed clear ideas that are relevant to the task; however, strive for more depth in your analysis. Offer more detailed explanations and develop your ideas comprehensively to enhance your task achievement score.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples is commendable, but to achieve a higher score, integrate a wider variety of examples that are fully developed and clearly illustrate the points being made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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