Throughout history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed what the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think makes a perfect society? What people do to achieve an ideal society?

#history #people #dream #society #haven’t #element

Since a long time ago, a perfect society is an ideal living condition desired by many citizens. Since each individual has different perspectives related to

this

concept, a fixed definition does not exist yet. For that reason,

this

essay will explain my view on the perfect society

while

also

describing some of the efforts to reach it. I believe an ideal community is

where

Correct pronoun usage

one where

show examples

residents

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

live their everyday lives comfortably. It is a society that allows people to interact and form healthy relationships with one another.

For example

, a neighbourhood with no crime rates where children could be safe

while

playing

as well as

healthy living conditions with a clean environment specifically for water and air, which allow people to have good physical and psychological conditions.

Thus

, a perfect lifestyle means they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

be healthy, content, and protected

while

carrying on with their daily activities.

However

, building

this

living situation is difficult, as everyone, including the government and citizens, should work together. One of the methods is through the application of regulations.

For instance

, the rules related to security need to be put into practice, including strict punishments for criminals.

Moreover

, if we want to achieve a clean and healthy neighbourhood, some hygiene-related regulations should be followed, and actions ought to be taken by everybody,

such

as sorting and recycling industrial and household waste, using public transportation, reforestation activities, and so on.

Hence

, to obtain

this

particular lifestyle, every part of the community should contribute by obeying the law

while

also

carrying out the necessary tasks. In conclusion, from my perspective, the ideal living environment provides safe and healthy conditions for every person who lives there.

Therefore

, some measures need to be taken to achieve

this

dream community,

such

as organizing laws for safety and hygiene reasons.

Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on Thu Nov 30 2023

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task response

Ensure a clear position throughout the response that directly addresses the question. Your position was presented but could be made clearer and more consistent.

task response

Work on the expansion of main ideas and fully support them with detailed examples.

coherence and cohesion

Organize ideas logically, and make sure each paragraph flows well into the next with appropriate use of cohesive devices.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear, addressing the main question directly. Aim for a more impactful summary.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Throughout history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed what the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think makes a perfect society? What people do to achieve an ideal society?

Your opinion

There is certainly a difference in thoughts, ideas and actions between children, their parents and grandparents. Why do these differences exist? Does it cause problems in your community, in your opinion?

Providing a national system in a country where the unemployed receive a regular payment only encourages people not to seek work and puts an unreasonable strain on a country’s financial resources.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of diverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.