Throughout history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed what the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think makes a perfect society? What people do to achieve an ideal society?

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Since a long time ago, a perfect society is an ideal living condition desired by many citizens. Since each individual has different perspectives related to

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concept, a fixed definition does not exist yet. For that reason,

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essay will explain my view on the perfect society

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describing some of the efforts to reach it. I believe an ideal community is

where

Correct pronoun usage

one where

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residents

could

Wrong verb form

can

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live their everyday lives comfortably. It is a society that allows people to interact and form healthy relationships with one another.

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, a neighbourhood with no crime rates where children could be safe

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playing

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healthy living conditions with a clean environment specifically for water and air, which allow people to have good physical and psychological conditions.

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, a perfect lifestyle means they

could

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can

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be healthy, content, and protected

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carrying on with their daily activities.

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, building

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living situation is difficult, as everyone, including the government and citizens, should work together. One of the methods is through the application of regulations.

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, the rules related to security need to be put into practice, including strict punishments for criminals.

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, if we want to achieve a clean and healthy neighbourhood, some hygiene-related regulations should be followed, and actions ought to be taken by everybody,

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as sorting and recycling industrial and household waste, using public transportation, reforestation activities, and so on.

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, to obtain

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particular lifestyle, every part of the community should contribute by obeying the law

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carrying out the necessary tasks. In conclusion, from my perspective, the ideal living environment provides safe and healthy conditions for every person who lives there.

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, some measures need to be taken to achieve

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dream community,

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as organizing laws for safety and hygiene reasons.

sidneynatasha16Thu Nov 30 2023

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task response

Ensure a clear position throughout the response that directly addresses the question. Your position was presented but could be made clearer and more consistent.

task response

Work on the expansion of main ideas and fully support them with detailed examples.

coherence and cohesion

Organize ideas logically, and make sure each paragraph flows well into the next with appropriate use of cohesive devices.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear, addressing the main question directly. Aim for a more impactful summary.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Throughout history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed what the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think makes a perfect society? What people do to achieve an ideal society?

Your opinion

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?