Throughout history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed what the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think makes a perfect society? What people do to achieve an ideal society?

#history #people #dream #society #haven’t #element

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Since a long time ago, a perfect society is an ideal living condition desired by many citizens. Since each individual has different perspectives related to

this

concept, a fixed definition does not exist yet. For that reason,

this

essay will explain my view on the perfect society

while

also

describing some of the efforts to reach it. I believe an ideal community is

where

Correct pronoun usage

one where

show examples

residents

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

live their everyday lives comfortably. It is a society that allows people to interact and form healthy relationships with one another.

For example

, a neighbourhood with no crime rates where children could be safe

while

playing

as well as

healthy living conditions with a clean environment specifically for water and air, which allow people to have good physical and psychological conditions.

Thus

, a perfect lifestyle means they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

be healthy, content, and protected

while

carrying on with their daily activities.

However

, building

this

living situation is difficult, as everyone, including the government and citizens, should work together. One of the methods is through the application of regulations.

For instance

, the rules related to security need to be put into practice, including strict punishments for criminals.

Moreover

, if we want to achieve a clean and healthy neighbourhood, some hygiene-related regulations should be followed, and actions ought to be taken by everybody,

such

as sorting and recycling industrial and household waste, using public transportation, reforestation activities, and so on.

Hence

, to obtain

this

particular lifestyle, every part of the community should contribute by obeying the law

while

also

carrying out the necessary tasks. In conclusion, from my perspective, the ideal living environment provides safe and healthy conditions for every person who lives there.

Therefore

, some measures need to be taken to achieve

this

dream community,

such

as organizing laws for safety and hygiene reasons.

Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on Thu Nov 30 2023

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task response

Ensure a clear position throughout the response that directly addresses the question. Your position was presented but could be made clearer and more consistent.

task response

Work on the expansion of main ideas and fully support them with detailed examples.

coherence and cohesion

Organize ideas logically, and make sure each paragraph flows well into the next with appropriate use of cohesive devices.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear, addressing the main question directly. Aim for a more impactful summary.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Throughout history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed what the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think makes a perfect society? What people do to achieve an ideal society?

Your opinion

Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

In some countries students pay the collage and universities fees themselves, but in other it is paid by the government. Do the advantages of government money outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debts back. Do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?