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Band 7

Everybody should become a vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?

#everybody #meat #diet
Becoming a vegetarian is a well-known phenomenon in today's society. Many people believe that there is no need to have
meat
 for a healthy diet. I firmly opine that
meat
 plays a significant role in our lives, and we can use a balanced diet
instead
 of denying animal-based foods. The first and foremost argument is that
meat
 is the main ingredient in the traditions of many countries. Rejecting an animal-based diet can not be a promising option for those who live in these countries. To cite an example, there is a special day
that is
 called Sacrificing Day in Islam religion.
While
 taking more than 2 billion Muslims into account, it is undeniable to acknowledge that turning into a vegetarian would be a harsh rule for them.
Secondly
,
although
 vegetarians say that excessive consumption of
meat
 might lead to serious diseases
such
 as cancer, the same thought can be used against those people. So, consuming only green foods can cause subtly detrimental effects on our bodies. Put simply, it is impossible to fill protein needs adequately on a daily basis
while
 using only vegetables, and insufficient protein can lead to nausea or other serious ailments throughout the day.
For instance
, an athlete needs to consume more than five thousand calories which contain about three hundred grams of protein.
That is
 why, it is not a recommended choice for those of them.
To conclude
, despite concerns that many believe everybody should
turned
Change the verb form
turn
be turned
show examples
 into a vegetarian, we can not forget the importance of
meat
 in our daily lives as a source of energy.
Submitted by yusifakhmad on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized and logically connected. Use a variety of linking words to connect sentences and ideas seamlessly, but avoid overusing them. Strive for clear topic sentences and develop each paragraph with a single idea, linking it back to the question where possible.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the task. Provide a clear opinion and back it up with relevant examples and explanations. Aim to develop your main points more fully to address the prompt comprehensively. Balance the development of your ideas to make sure that each is sufficiently supported and elaborated on.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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