IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in many cities traffic congestion and air pollution are increasing rapidly due to the excessive use of private vehicles. some people believe that governments should encourage the use of public transport instead of private cars. to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In recent years, many cities have experienced a sharp increase in
traffic
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 congestion and
air
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 pollution, mainly because of the widespread
use
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 of private
vehicles
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. Some
people
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 argue that governments should promote public
transport
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 rather than personal
cars
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. I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, as encouraging mass transit can help reduce both environmental and
traffic
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-related problems. One of the main advantages of increasing the
use
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 of public
transport
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 is the improvement in
air
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 quality. When fewer
cars
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 are on the roads, emissions of harmful gases
such
Linking Words
 as carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide decrease significantly.
For example
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, studies in several European cities have shown that expanding bus and train services led to a measurable reduction in
air
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 pollution over a few years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, relying more on public
vehicles
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 can directly benefit the environment and public health. Another reason to promote public
transport
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 is that it can help ease
traffic
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 congestion in urban areas. Many city centres are not designed to accommodate large numbers of
cars
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, and
this
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 often results in
traffic
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 jams, especially during peak hours.
For instance
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, in India, authorities have implemented policies encouraging
people
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 to travel by
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
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 during busy periods, which has helped reduce gridlock in crowded cities.
Consequently
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,
prioritizing
Change the spelling
prioritising
show examples
 buses and trains over private
vehicles
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 can make urban
transport
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 more efficient.
However
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, it is true that private
cars
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 are preferred by many
people
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 because they provide comfort and flexibility. If public
transport
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 is unreliable or inconvenient, commuters are unlikely to switch.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments must focus on improving the efficiency, safety, and coverage of public transit systems to make them a more attractive option. In conclusion, the excessive
use
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 of private
vehicles
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 is a major contributor to
traffic
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 congestion and
air
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 pollution. I agree that governments should encourage
people
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 to
use
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 public
transport
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, as it can reduce emissions and improve
traffic
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 flow. At the same time, authorities need to ensure that buses, trains, and other public services are reliable and accessible, so that citizens are motivated to change their commuting habits.

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task response
Start with a clear answer to the question. State if you mostly agree or fully agree.
examples
Add more clear proof in your examples, like data or facts, to back up each point.
coherence
Link your ideas with linking words to show flow from one idea to the next.
language
Use simple sentence to keep clear meaning, and check grammar to avoid errors.
structure
Clear view and good plan of how to argue.
content
Reason and idea are easy to read with good order.
content
Good examples from real places help support points.
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